CIA Refuses To Release Osama's Porn Collection Information To Bro Who Submitted FOIA For It
from the pron dept
Who could have possibly thought that something of interest would actually come out of something called BroBible? As it turns out, the site that calls itself the best place for all the world's bros to gather on the internet -- which sounds horrible -- has created a bit of interest after BroBible editor David Covucci filed an FOIA request with the CIA for a listing of the pornography the government has long claimed it found in the Pakistani compound where the Osama bin Laden raid occurred.
We at the men's general interest publication BroBible dot com (one of the nation's largest websites for men), would like to know what pornographic materials Osama Bin Laden had in his possession at the time of his death.Well-filed, bro, well-filed. Not well enough, however, as the CIA responded to his bro-ness, denying his request and claiming that any information about any pornography the CIA might have from the bin Laden compound fell under the designation of an "operational file" and was therefore exempt from release upon an FOIA request. As Vice News explains, operational files are very specific things that cover very specific kinds of information. Essentially, information falls under an operational file designation if it deals with how America is conducting foreign intelligence gathering, who we might be working with in that regard, any specifics about the technology we're using to conduct our spycraft, or any information that would reveal who we are looking at overseas. None of that really applies to a terrorist king's spank bank.
We are adults. We can handle it. We would like to know what kind of porn the world's most wanted man jerked it to. Does being under the constant threat of capture require extra stimulation? I imagine it would be hard for him to focus on his dick, so I figure he had to watch some really nasty shit.
"It seems like a stretch to call these [pornographic] materials operational files," said Steven Aftergood, the director of the Project on Government Secrecy. "Although they may have been obtained in the course of an operation, they do not have anything to do with the planning or conduct of the operation. So they don't really fit the definition of an operational file in the CIA Information Act."But the CIA had another excuse for not releasing the information, and it's a classic. Yes, the CIA said that United States law forbade the CIA from mailing out "obscene or crime-inciting matter." Now, I realize through, ahem, research for this post that the names of skin-flicks can sometimes take on the use of colorful language, but does the CIA's genteel sensibility really trump the public's rights under the Freedom of Information Act? Or is the concern centered more on some strange notion that the government embarrassing bin Laden by revealing his wank-files will inspire acts of violence? Either way, this silly request from BroBible doesn't deserve such a silly response from the CIA.
Covucci told VICE News in an email that he's determined to get his hands on bin Laden's porn. He plans to appeal the CIA's decision and file a separate request with ODNI.Yeah, bro.
"It's fucking Kafka-esque obfuscation bullshit they are hiding behind," he said.
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Filed Under: cia, foia, osama bin laden, porn
Companies: brobible
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In other words, I think they lied about finding porn and are using any excuse now to hide that.
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Re: porn
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Wait...
FUD relies on vagueness.
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Re: Re:
http://www.lrb.co.uk/v37/n10/seymour-m-hersh/the-killing-of-osama-bin-laden
Including the lie that the CIA was using vaccinations as a cover-up to get DNA samples. A lie that's now leading to a huge problem in Pakistan and Afghanistan because people believe vaccinations in general to be a CIA plot.
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So are you claiming Bin Laden liked non-obscene porn, or that this isn't a law?
It's, um, also very possible that the porn in question is of the underage type and thus illegal to possess. That would explain the crime-incitement.
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What? You mean might have lied and are just trying to avoid getting caught (yet again)? I'm shocked!
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Doubt that, but the file is still operational!! That is funny.
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Obama?
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Re: Obama?
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Well, maybe...
We don't really know that. It isn't beyond the realm of possibility that Osama's porn was somehow an instrumental part of the effort to assassinate him. The CIA has done freakier things than that before.
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Re: Well, maybe...
"Stop. Seriously? I think you need to take a break."
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If they can get past the first issue of the "operational file" non-sense, then they can solve the problem of "mailing porn" by just asking for a pickup location and time so that it doesn't have to be mailed. That should generate some interesting new BS out of the CIA.
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Two possibilities
2) They are telling the truth, and this is operationally sensitive.
What if there really were no porn? Perhaps they concocted a scheme to further discredit OBL among his followers who truly believe this is a mission from a higher power. Nothing takes down a man of God (at least in America) like a good old fashioned sex scandal.
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Re: Two possibilities
At that point, even copying it... might, result in that information getting out there.
At the same time, I don't think they'd be willing to actually suggest that because it would be in that idiotic state of either confirming "we know they do this," or "we don't want to give them any ideas."
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Re: Re: Two possibilities
Steganography. But if they just release the titles, which I think is what was asked for, that wouldn't present any problem.
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Re: Two possibilities
3) It really is operationally sensitive because they'd been tracking his porn habits for months and that's how they found him since every copy of "Naughty Jihadists 5" and that month's edition of "Mature Martyrs" have secret CIA GPS chips embedded....
4) The list of porn is all identifiable as coming from the private stash of the CIA used as part of honey trap operations and would show that OBL was really a prisoner before he was caught....
5) Oh, I've run out of conspiracy theories... guess I'll just have to go with the prevailing "They lied" theory :-)
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Due to the privacy concerns of those appearing in the adult material in question, we are unable to release any documents in fulfillment of your request. Should you require confirmation of the validity of our decision, please ask your mother.
Sincerely,
John "Come at me" Brennan
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Bin Ladens Porn
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It's for his own protection
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I say that the reason they can't meet the FOI request,
There wasn't one. Nope. The reporting of it was propaganda.
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Copy failed, file in use
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Re: Copy failed, file in use
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Re: Re: Copy failed, file in use
Other than possibly a few individuals, could you imagine the US Government procurement office being Apple fanbois? (OK, I know that the Apple OS is just a fork of Linux, but when do they ever admit that?).
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Re: Re: Re: Copy failed, file in use
OS X is based on Unix and originated in NEXT, not from forking the Linux kernel.
/nitpick
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Re: Re: Re: Copy failed, file in use
Apart from about the Top 100 of all supercomputers worldwide, which run Linux, and things like the M1 Abrams?
Well, the US Navy ditched Unix on some ships, this is what happened:
http://gcn.com/Articles/1998/07/13/Software-glitches-leave-Navy-Smart-Ship-dead-in-the-wate r.aspx
http://archive.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/1998/07/13987
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wtf?
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CIA's Concerns Are Legit!
Now that they do have that porn, they must analyze it and find the hidden messages and learn how all this was done.
The brave, dedicated men at the CIA have been doing this night after night, racking up massive overtime watching and reading this material repeatedly.
Could ordinary men pull this off? No sir, but these are special men, hardened by years of experience. No jerks here!
They should be commended.
(Source: The Sunday Times [UK])
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Re: CIA's Concerns Are Legit!
Would the code breakdown be interesting or when observed obscenity?
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Re: Re: CIA's Concerns Are Legit!
Yes..this explains the vast increase of bizarre sexual positions that was noted in Islamic porn years ago.
(source: The Sunday Times [UK])
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Don't do it!
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That would be considered kiddie porn...
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To quote Tom Lehrer:
"to be smut
It must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance."
If they're going to claim obscenity OR criminality, they're going to have to specific the law directly (criminality).
Or wave their hands hopefully and energetically, in defense of obscenity in the face of the context.
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Protecting the sources
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Or it's 'operational' cos the C.I.A are pornographers
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FTFY, BroBible. After all, Ed Snowden is now the world's most wanted man (strike)despite(/strike) because of the fact that he acted to (strike)protect people(/strike) harm governments.
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The Satanic Wank Files
Oh come on guys.
We all know that the CIAFBINSA spy-guys cannot possibly place these confiscated pornographic materials into the hands of the general public.
They already divvied them up and took them home.
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