Desk Jockeying: FBI Puts Out The Call For 'Cyber Security Furniture'
from the bringing-the-war-to-work dept
If you're going to fight in the Cyber Front, you're going to want the most up-to-date office chairs. Here's an unlikely use of federal tax dollars, as spotted by the EFF's Dave Maass: "FBI Cyber Security Furniture."
Disappointingly, the FBI isn't actually looking for something along the lines of Matrix dental exam chairs for office drones to monitor... uh... multiple monitors during crucial cyber operations. Instead, the FBI is looking for standard office furniture to furnish its new Colorado cyber security office.
But the scope of work doc [PDF] indicates not just any office furniture will do. On the FBI's Cyber Titanic, reshuffle-ability of deck chairs is crucial.
The furniture solution for the workspace (individual and team) is expected to be adjustable, adaptable and easily interchangeable into different configurations as required by the work force.
[...]
Technology will be integrated at all levels of the project. Furniture must be adaptable to the continuously changing technology solutions required to maintain a collaborative, mobile, and sustainable work environment.
In total, the FBI is looking for 24 workstations, 30 office chairs, and an out-of-the-box "STEELCASE Private Office" [pictured below].
If any vendors carry something more cybertastic than what's described in the request, they are cordially disinvited from responding. The FBI is going sole-source and pouring federal dollars back into the local economy.
The General Services Administration has a new requirement that it intends to sole source for New Steelcase and Mayline Office Furniture from Officescapes, LLC a local dealer in Colorado.
The sole-source provider won't have it easy, though. The demands for bog standard office furniture are far more rigorous than most demands for off-the-shelf solutions. It needs to do far more than prevent FBI cyber warriors from having to perform their duties sitting on the carpet. The new furniture must also work as a "quality of life patch" for the field office. Here's part of a long list of things purchased furniture is expected to do:
- Improv[e] work/life balance
- Attract and retain the best talent
Hopefully no employees signed with the new Cyber Security office in hopes of being part of the office of the future. Team Cyber (Denver, CO) will be doing its work in the more familiar "office of the present," with all of its boring chairs, workstations, and conspicuous lack of monitor-covered walls.
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Filed Under: cyber security furniture, fbi
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The FBI Wants Backdoors, Except When They Don't
From the STEELCASE Private Office website:
So the FBI doesn't want any information getting out via backdoors. Hmm.
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Re: The FBI Wants Backdoors, Except When They Don't
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Re: The FBI Wants Backdoors, Except When They Don't
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Suggestion
They will be eminently adequate for the requirement "is expected to be adjustable, adaptable and easily interchangeable into different configurations as required by the work force". Just don't let the ergonomics folks in the building.
They will also be eminently adequate for the requirements of the populace "Don't tread on me".
That there is some difference between the FBI's requirements, and the Public's requirements, which is up for discussion.
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Re: Suggestion
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The same way that Executive Departments changes points of view with certain elections. Sometimes the requirements of the populace are forgotten, and other times they are just trashed.
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These were used desks from one of the canceled efforts to design a space station. The effort must have been lavishly funded, because they were much, much nicer than our 1960s-era dark gray steel desks that showed their decades of use.
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You had one of the new ones? Lucky! We still have several older ones around at our agency. I'm not joking. I surplussed one a few years ago with a manufacturing date of 1932 on the bottom.
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Yet another example of our cyber-security-tax-dollars at work.
Reminded me of this...
NSA director modeled top secret war room to look like the bridge of Star Trek's Enterprise
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Choices, choices, choices!
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It seems they are collectively in one of these cases where the person gets a permanent trip then.
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https://cdn1.lockerdomecdn.com/uploads/0a75966d415a5b2b7ed74960f41ff24c84d4efde79bf1684acf1e4 a239d550fb_medium_animated
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Are appliances considered furniture?
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Oh and after reading the article I about wet myself from laughter.
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