Even The Sex At The Olympics Is Sponsored

from the *don't-f**k-without-the-official-olympic-rubber* dept

Wed, Aug 8th 2012 10:24am — Mike Masnick

We've had plenty of stories about the insane lengths the Olympics goes to in order to block out any appearance of a non-sponsor brand, including taping over the brands of non-sponsors on bathroom fixtures and urinals. And, apparently, the Olympics obsession with deleting all non-sponsorship brands extends almost to the point of contact when athletes decide to get down and dirty with each other.

Every couple years, when the Olympics roll around, there are stories like this one, about the volume of sexual activity in the Olympic Village among the athletes. And, if we go by condom count, the volume keeps on growing:

At the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, the Australian organizing committee distributed 45,000 free condoms in the village. Eight years later in Beijing, 70,000 condoms—labeled with the phrase ‘Faster, Higher, Stronger’—were exhausted and 20,000 more were ordered. This year in London, the Olympic organizing committee is providing 150,000, using special dispensers which contain a message promoting sexual health. Averaged among 10,490 athletes, that’s enough condoms for every athlete to have sex 15 times over the Olympics’ three weeks

And, of course, the Olympics found a sponsor to pay up for the privilege of being where the rubber meets the... well, you know. Durex is the official condom of the games. But... uh oh, call in the brand police! BMX cyclist Caroline Buchanan tweeted a photo of free condoms available in the Olympic Village which (*gasp*!) were not made by Durex!

And, indeed, the response from the Olympics was swift, as they began an investigation into this illicit behavior, because just think of all the problems if these athletes had sex with a non-sponsored condom! That cannot be allowed at all.

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Filed Under: brand police, condoms, london 2012, olympics, sponsorship

48 Comments

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Zakida Paul (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:33am

Oh Dear
Olympic spirit, my arse.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:34am

Memo:
"Averaged among 10,490 athletes, that�s enough condoms for every athlete to have sex 15 times over the Olympics� three weeks"

Note to self: Become an Olympic athlete....
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Jay (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:40am

Sex in the Olympics�
I have to wonder: do you still get a gold medal if you come in first?
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Prashanth (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:41am

Dear Olympics
Dear Olympics,
F**k you (with a birth control method officially sponsored by the Olympics)!
Sincerely, Prashanth.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:41am

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
Bravo! Extremely well done. This had damn well better show up on the Sunday list....
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:42am

sounds to me like all those hard nosed twats on the various Olympic Committees want real good fucks stuck into them!!
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Lord Binky, 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:42am

It must have been a health issue. Durex must have used a proprietary olympian blend that was sure to keep even a gold medalist safe, anything less could just break, and you know what happens when we have superhuman olympic babies right?
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Lord Binky, 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:46am

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
Golf scoring? Lowest score= winner?
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Aaron deOliveira, 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:47am

Re: Memo:
4+ years of work to have sex 15 times?

Assuming Olympic athletes have sex more than just at the games, it would seem far easier just to ask the Olympic athletes themselves. You would only need a 0.3% success rate to reach 15 times.
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Divide by Zero (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:52am

Clearly the IOC are just pissy that they aren't getting any themselves.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:58am

What's an Olympics?
Sorry, but I developed advertising-blindness (caused by severe over-exposure) years ago.
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Dark Helmet (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 10:58am

Re: Re: Memo:
I like the way you think, sir....

*Dials Logan Tom immediately*
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:00am

This really has the reached the level of utter absurdity.

I remember reading Stranger in a Strange Land and Heinlein prefaced his chapters with these absurd little world news briefs that you would never take seriously, then. Now, having just reread it they seem not only believable but somewhat tame.
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Digitari, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:00am

Rubber to the road
So this is how one covers an (I)ntellectual (P)hallacy
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:00am

Only 15 times over 21 days?
Not nearly enough. Don't know about the rest of you but I can hit it three times a day.

Four if she's good looking.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:19am

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
I have to wonder: do you still get a gold medal if you come in first?

I came here in search of something I did not know... and found you.

Seriously though, if I can convey the context well enough, the wife will love that one.
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Jake, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:20am

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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:24am

Re:
Too true. Its gotten so bad it *hurts to grok.

Is there an official sponsor who can help with that?
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:26am

Re:
Is that the alien from Enemy Mine?
Gldldldldldldldldldldlddlr
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Jasmine Charter, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:27am

One word...
PSYCHOS!

As I've stated before... the Olympics are a farce. It's a money making scheme by the draconian Olympic committee and nothing more.

I'm actually surprised that it seems to be as popular with TV viewers this year... but then again... Reality TV vs Olympics... I guess Olympics win...
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BentFranklin (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:40am

Re:
ASCII art fail. Try again with (1) all lines same length (2) in a code block for fixed width font (3) use preview button.
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ira levine, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:48am

olimpec condoms
Keep in mind there are only about 5200 couples, meaning 30, link ups.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 11:56am

Re: Re: Memo:
Still 14 times more per 4 years than the average /. reader.
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Tunnen (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:07pm

Re: Re:
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) Why you no use preview! =P
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weneedhelp (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:24pm

I can see it now
A new branch of the Olympic IP police... the penis police.

What a bunch of dicks.
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MikeC (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:29pm

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
Only if she does ..... and don't forget your scores are tallied for execution as well as technical merit, plus style. Wonder if there is a group of required skills that must be demonstrated.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:30pm

Ahh now I get it: The olympics is not about sports. Choose whatever you like as long as you can qualify.

It is a dating service sponsored by Durex. Are we gonna get TV-footage from it in the future as a new reality-show? I think Durex has hit a really good concept here: Free condoms and then film the use with hidden cameras! I can see why they do not want competition in this sport.
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:37pm

Just when I thought that the games that shall not be named cannot become more of a farce. Of course they can.
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Killer_Tofu (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:38pm

Men At Work
The remaining members of the band Men At Work should get together with Kangaroo Condoms and make the parody song "Gland Down Under".

(to a musical tune) 'Do you come from a gland down under?'

I am sure they could also work the group name of Men at Work into the parody there somewhere. I am sure once explored, the possibilities here would be very forthcumming.
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Jay (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 12:47pm

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
That's only if you have the Blue shell condoms
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Tunnen (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 1:16pm

Re: Men At Work
This reminded me of that joke about an Australian Kiss, it's like a French Kiss, but down under. =P
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Oblate (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 1:43pm

Re: I can see it now
IP Police... Improper Penetration?
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Oblate (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 1:46pm

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
The real question is how many Bronze medals were awarded?
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Oblate, 8 Aug 2012 @ 1:48pm

Re: Only 15 times over 21 days?
Four if she's good looking.

Or if the magazine is new...
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Anonymous Coward, 8 Aug 2012 @ 2:32pm

Durex putting the O in Olympics.

Stay classy rofl.
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MikeC (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 3:47pm

Re: Re: Sex in the Olympics�
You sure getting a bronze would be all that bad??
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MikeC (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 3:48pm

Re: Re: Sex in the Olympics�
You sure getting a bronze would be all that bad?? Or does that mean you are third across the line??
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FuzzyDuck, 8 Aug 2012 @ 4:21pm

Re: Re: Sex in the Olympics�
You're assuming that sex can only be between two people.... those of us who have been on the Internet for a while know it ain't so. ;)
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Pseudonym, 8 Aug 2012 @ 5:39pm

Re: Memo:
You should be aware that among the athletes, taking as many condoms as you can is a tradition. The vast majority don't get used in the village.
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orbitalinsertion (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 7:14pm

Re: Re:
Picard facepalm of animated GIF fame.

Yeah, it took me a minute.
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orbitalinsertion (profile), 8 Aug 2012 @ 7:19pm

Re: Men At Work
I'm glad you mentioned it because WTF "gland down under"? It's a bit of a stretch. (Ba dum dum.) The gland involved isn't the penis, which is not a gland. Unless glans was meant, but this is still bio-fail 101.

They should be able to provide their condoms and badvertising anywhere they like, though.
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Ninja (profile), 9 Aug 2012 @ 3:37am

Re: Re: Memo:
Healthy, built up bodies are enough to get you laid everyday any day. So uh.. I'll join his effort o/
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Ninja (profile), 9 Aug 2012 @ 3:39am

Re: Sex in the Olympics�
If u think about it, you got gold on the day of your conception =D
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Ninja (profile), 9 Aug 2012 @ 3:40am

Hmmm. Sponsored sex. Yes, I've done that before with a prostitute =D
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Michael Long (profile), 9 Aug 2012 @ 12:57pm

Re: Oh Dear
Olympic spirits probably contribute, yes.

Seriously, of course this needs to be investigated! Let just non-paid sponsor get away with it, and pretty soon the entire Olympic Committee might have to actually work for a living.

Slippery slope, and all that...
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Anonymous Coward, 9 Aug 2012 @ 2:55pm

Re:
Was it Belle/Hannah? (You know, what with the Olympics being held in London...)
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sugan, 2 Sep 2015 @ 2:49am

I used to use Mirena which is an IUD. It was super expensive but it had some great side effects condoms
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Max, 23 Jun 2016 @ 1:53am

olympics
The buzz post-Olympics usually centres on the athletes, their achievements and the tirade of endorsement campaigns that inevitably follow. But what about the structures that house these magnificent quadrennial events? Often the stadiums and swimming pools have been purpose-built, but post-event many remain unused, abandoned or unimaginatively repurposed.
Rio 2016 Live Stream will be a big hit. But, what about stadiums when olympics ends?
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