DJs' 'Dihydrogen Monoxide' April Fool's Prank Results In Suspension And Possible Felony Charges
from the is-actually-Dolan-water dept
April Fool's Day. Either you love it or you hate it. There's not much middle ground. As a writer on The Internet, April Fool's Day is a 24-hour deathtrap composed of plausible stories that will set you on fire the moment you press the Publish button. It turns even the most cheerful of writers into a deeply cynical curmudgeon, one who approaches each possible scoop with more suspicion than the heavily-bearded guy down the street who's building a bunker under his garage and frequently answers the door wearing nothing but a shotgun. (Much of this reverts back to normal following the "holiday," but each year adds another layer of resentful suspicion. In fact, if you cut open a writer, you can simply count the rings to determine how many years they've been in the business.)
For many people, though, April Fool's Day is a 24-hour period filled with lighthearted pranks and sub-Onion quasi-satire. They love cheerful shenanigans and they love being fooled. Except when they don't. Then it's suddenly "gone too far" and concerned foolees start pressing for "something to be done about it." This is one of those stories, the kind where you can't fool all of the people all of the time, but you can temporarily fool enough of them that someone gets seriously pissed off.
Florida country radio morning-show hosts Val St. John and Scott Fish are currently serving indefinite suspensions and possibly worse over a successful April Fools' Day prank. They told their listeners that "dihydrogen monoxide" was coming out of the taps throughout the Fort Myers area.If you're not familiar with the term "dihydrogen monoxide," you'll be thrilled to know that the compound is damn near everywhere. Not only that, but its ubiquity has prompted many a petition to be signed fervently in favor of banning the dangerous-sounding substance completely. No one's really sure what makes it so dangerous, but anything containing two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen can't be completely safe.
Of course, anyone who's paid attention over the last couple of decades (at least) knows that dihydrogen monoxide is water. What's surprising is that a couple of pranking DJs could find enough people unaware of this fact to a.) pull off the prank and b.) possibly face felony charges. Wait... what?
[A]pparently, the station, the water works, and perhaps the authorities are still trying to figure out if the two hosts could face felony charges for, again, reporting that the scientific name of water was coming out of the pipes. "My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue," Diane Holm, a public information officer for Lee County, told WTSP, while Renda stood firm about his deejays: "They will have to deal with the circumstances."It seems unlikely the DJ duo will actually face felony charges, but they are currently suspended after being yanked off the air in the middle of their morning show. Apparently, enough people expressed their concern about dihydrogen monoxide leakage that the local water utility was forced to issue a statement.
These reactions to an April Fool's prank that occurred on a day when pranks are to be expected seem rather overblown. The DJs are suspended indefinitely for technically telling the truth and the station has indicated the pair are facing additional punishment. Sure, nobody wants to feel like a fool, but that is the totality of April 1st. If this many people can't take being taken for a ride on the foolingest day of the year, then it's a clear sign that the national sense of humor is in critical condition. (We've already eulogized the national sense of proportion and scattered its ashes across a variety of moral panics and Terms of Service outrages.) To put it in more familiar terms, "If you can't laugh at yourself, the terrorists win."
[It appears the terrorists have won. (Again.) A poll on the radio station's website (warning: ads frickin' everywhere even with Adblock) shows that 78% of the respondents believe the DJs should return to the airwaves "never." (Poll is no longer live, but an "indefinite" suspension could technically lead to returning "never.")]
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Filed Under: april fools, dihydrogen monoxide, felony, florida, prank, radio djs, water
Reader Comments
The First Word
“A) It's Florida, and
B) It's a Country station.
Not exactly a Venn diagram that would contain a lot of smart listeners.
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Knee jerk over reactions
We should have a knee jerk over reaction to people who exhibit knee jerk over reactions such as this.
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A) It's Florida, and
B) It's a Country station.
Not exactly a Venn diagram that would contain a lot of smart listeners.
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Adblock
I'm running Firefox 19.0.2 (apparently it wants an update) and adblock, and I don't see any ads.
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How can the population be this stupid?
Could they at least look it up on the internet before they panic?
What ARE they putting in the Dihydrogen Monoxide in Florida?
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I recommend that everyone who was concerned about dihydrogen monoxide should immediately put in place measures that prevent exposure to dioxygen.
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How the water company should've handle this
Concerned Citizen: Hello? Yes, I have a question regarding the water quality.
WCG: Go on...
CC: I'm concerned that it might be contaminated with Dihydrogen Monoxide.
WCG: You are aware that Dihydrogen Monoxide is water correct?
CC: But the guys on the radio said that it was dangerous!
WCG: Are you familiar with the concept of April Fools?
CC: I...uh...
WCG: Jackass... *hangs up phone*
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Another update
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They have a right to be concerned
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Everyone drinks soda instead of the dangerous Dihydrogen Monoxide, so we should ban it! We shouldn't even allow our kids to bathe in Dihydrogen Monoxide!
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What about the date?
There was a similar situation many years ago in Seattle with a Country radio station (something about varmints parachuting off the Space Needle) which ended badly for the DJs and I believe that was on April Fools Day as well.
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Re:
No wonder I've been getting so heavy! I keep telling my doctor: it's not fat, it's all the Iron they put in the foods these days. Of course, he won't listen to me. He just tells me to move my fat arse and lose some weight.
Stupid doctors...
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Update: They're back on the air
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Copious water, use sparingly
that a university lab tech produced to satisfy a student request.
One would of thought that the date at least woukd have caused people to think before leaping.
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Re: Update: They're back on the air
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The next threat...
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Slobbo!
These same listeners also left some delicious appendage photos on the station's facebook page, which were eventually deleted.
Let me babysit your children.
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Re: How the water company should've handle this
I don't work for the Ft Myers water works, but I do work as a CSR, and get a LOT of callers like that.
More proof that you just can't fix stupid.
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Blown out of proporation
"My understanding is it is a felony to call in a false water quality issue"
They never called it in. They just spread the harmless rumor that actually forced the workers at the water center to get a few more phone calls than normal.
Now if only the water company could set up adds and make a profit off all the extra traffic, everyone would be happy.
The real question is though, what prank will they use next year to outdo this one? Chances are I'll be listening in....
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Re: Another update
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Hydrogenhydroxide
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A few observations:
2. I would love to see the DJs forced apology to read "We're sorry for our April Fools Day broadcast. We had no possible way to believe people would be stupid enough to believe a 7th-grade joke."
3. Further, I believe the DJs should quit, because their listeners *ARE* stupid enough to believe a 7th-grade joke!
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Re: Slobbo!
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Re: The next threat...
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Re:
Lawsuit against Monsanto in 3.....2.....1....
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Lee County UtilitiesWater Safe To Drink
BECAUSE DIHYDROGEN-MONOXIDE IS FUCKING WATER YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.
Now for the love of god go back to grade school.
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Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this
If only their were a way to isolate these people and prevent them from breeding.
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RE: The next threat...
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Re: A few observations:
True, although in fairness, using that as your source of news is not significantly dumber than using any other radio or TV broadcast as your source of news.
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-is the major component of acid rain.
-contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
-may cause severe burns.
-is fatal if inhaled.
-contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
-accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
-may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
-has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
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Please sign my petition to have Ferrous metals banned from all public places and all commercial products.
http://youso.stupid
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Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this
Err. Life-challenged Americans.
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Re: Re: Update: They're back on the air
pervs
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I guess stating that your tap water contains an increased amount of pure water is a water quality issue then. Imagine the problem if they reported that the domestic water supply contained chlorine, hydrofluosilicic acid, or sodium silicofluoride that was added at the water treatment plant.
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One could also claim that it is good to question the quality of any source of food or water regardless of some silly government claim of fitness. Questioning government is good at every level. This would of course require common sense and that is extraordinary these days but its still a valid concept for any democracy.
This was what? An April Fool's joke presented on April fools day? LOL! Now watch some preposterously stupid prosecutor present this as coming from out of the blue and shocking. (I hope there are TV cameras in that courtroom)
Was it shocking to anyone? GOOD! Every radio and TV broadcast must be questioned and verified by other means hopefully at least 3 independent sources if only for basic human behavioral reasons that most stories are skewed if not totally bent by special interest groups or worse by government agencies protecting their own arses from whatever scandal/mistake/pogrom cover-up of the time(s).
It is up to the individual to do this hopefully easy research. To rely on any once source of info is to be spooked by the ghosts/fears of others repeatedly. It facilitates living a life of fear raised by others who may not have your best interests at heart.
Anyone can remember the Orson Wells's War of the Worlds alien invasion from Mars April 1st broadcast which panicked several towns and entertained thousands of others. Such a great lesson of group cultural awareness can rarely be obtained in the classroom. Hysteria is its own lesson and our cultural awareness levels up by experiencing such. Even trying to be harmless and fun some would panic anyway and that is the lesson/wisdom gained.
Questioning the gossip one hears over the backyard fence it good. Questioning the rumors heard from friends is good. Questioning ANY news overheard from radio, TV or Internet is good. Questioning anything ANY government says regardless of presentability or apparent fitness is GOOD and HEALTHY. Such self verification breeds a culture that loves facts not fiction.
Because just saying such a thing as “,felony to call in a false water quality issue," is ridiculous in the first place its another law that should be thrown out. On the face of it we criticize water quality all the time and worry about it to much calcium/lead/fluoride/volatiles/suspended-solids/rust/etc. harm us every day and sometimes we are wrong and other times right! Making such a law prohibits public debate about water quality matters of which are vitally important to both public health and understanding.
The DJ's from WTSP were basically questioning the validity of water being healthy or even necessary to human life is good and healthy but no way can be considered criminal. Even if they are not ultimately charged just the brouhaha raised brings to light much self critical insight.
So if it is considerd a felony or punishable offense by WTSP or its listeners... Shame on the involved parties. Pants on fire? Nose too long? Brain dysfunctional? Likely! Since the average listener seems likely to kick someone rather than laugh one might reconsider any property values in the area.
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Well played.
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Re: Knee jerk over reactions
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This comment is my favorite. In the words of Captain...
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Stupid people
That's the whole of the DJs' "terrible crime"; demonstrating to people that they are incompetent boobs, and the people being resentful of that.
Demonstrating someone's stupidity by telling the truth in a complex way being criminal? Yep, that sounds like modern America.
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Re: Re: Adblock
I also run NoScript in Firefox, but not in Chrome and it still looked the same. I got nuthin'
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Try the MVP Hosts file. I don't see a single ad on that site and I didn't have to install a special browser add-on.
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Oceans
And since when is reporting facts taught in school considered a joke or a prank?
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Re: They have a right to be concerned
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Re: Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this
When you go on a date, do you prefer the highly attractive person who may not be very bright or do you prefer the ugly but highly intelligent person?
If you won't date ugly people, you probably won't ever get to later relationship stages with them, won't marry them and won't have kids with them. This de-selects unattractive people. Attractive and intelligent people still reproduce, except...
Intelligent people often have careers. Some make time for kids, but a lot don't. That removes them from the gene pool.
Meanwhile, attractive stupid people are often confused by how birth control works or don't believe in it. They don't have careers that get in the way of having kids. And as a result, they breed like rabbits as a demographic group.
In the end, natural selection might just kill us off as a species.
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Re: They have a right to be concerned
Pure nitrogen environments, direct exposure to Halon, aspirating whipped cream (during a pie in the face incident) and other things can also drown you.
So no, dihydrogen monoxide is not responsible for 100% of all drowning deaths.
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dihydrogen monoxide
That's what most human beings are composed of...
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Someone who actually does follow the rules claimed in Supersize Me tends to maintain or even lose weight on a McDonalds diet unless they are a total couch potato.
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I feel a little lame now
Most of the pranks I played consisted of a pad of post-its and a pen. I wrote 3.14159 on the post-its and stuck them the the foreheads of everyone I met that day. About half of them got the joke. One of them even asked for a few extra to pass out (via foreheads) to their friends.
A local scale panic due to hihydrogen monoxide? I am in awe.
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Re: I feel a little lame now
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Re: Re: Re: Re: How the water company should've handle this
As a result I may have missed out on a lot of dates with attractive and stupid people, but that's okay. I choose very wisely and don't have any regrets. :)
But I do understand your point, and it is all too true in general.
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Re: I feel a little lame now
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I'm guessing that means a small minority of people.
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Re: The next threat...
It can help cause involuntary muscle contractions as well.
The only solution is to consume plenty of antioxidants such as dihydrogen monoxide, a substance that can kill you if you get too much of it in your lungs.
Even swallowing too much of it is toxic.
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Here is the email address to the station....
rsavage@rendabroadcasting.com
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Re: Re: Another update
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I suppose that it's possible he faked his data.
Someone who actually does follow the rules claimed in Supersize Me tends to maintain or even lose weight on a McDonalds diet unless they are a total couch potato.
Nope, sorry, I probably wouldn't believe this statement with a mountain of data to back it up.
And just a side note: as I recall, he wasn't having as much trouble with weight gain as he was with liver damage...
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marching_Morons
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Also, the majority of the "Never back on the air" voters are Opie & Anthony fans, or otherwise just hate totally stupid radio pranks.
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a song about it
There's a chemical that poses deadly danger to us all
If we don't eliminate it, we are headed for a fall
But our governments refuse to see the writing on the wall
They're going to let us die!
Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
Ban dihydrogen monoxide!
Ban dihydrogen monoxide
Before it kills us all!
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imagine the outrage
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Re:
I still have nightmares of my college chemist prof blasting that horrid Garth Brooks crap, by the way.
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Re: What about the date?
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Aside from being fun on april fools, it teaches three important things:
1) The value of a functional education system.
2) It teaches people to stop worrying about and signing things they don't understand, and instead go do some homework.
3) It raises awareness about professional peddlers of panic. "WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!" is never a good start for making public policy, creating laws, or starting protests. The sheer amount of crap that's been done "for public safety, for the children, to stop terrorism, to fight crime, to fight drugs" etcetera is mind boggling.
If you don't know what things are really about, here's a tip: Stay calm, and eat cupcakes.
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Suffrage sounds like suffering so it must be bad, right?
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A true Foxworthy moment.
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H G Wells
You don't have to be from Florida to be stupid it seems..
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Re: Re: They have a right to be concerned
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Water
a tea spoon of the stuff is enough to kill you (you can drown in as little as a tea spoon of water), it's responsible for thousands of deaths a year.
It can crush you, burn you, vaporise you, freeze you, it can cut through steel!!
It's 'natural' so you can assume it's safe, just like Uranium is natural, or snake venom, or the plague.. All 100% natural..
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Re: imagine the outrage
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"how do I fix this problem??? "
A. Easy, click on your desktop, select Ctrl-A and press ENTER..
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War if the worlds
so 1.7 million people believed it, and 1.2million people believed it but where not scared !!!!..
New that's dumb..
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NOT TRUE !!!!.. yes, volcanos do release CO2, but not as much (from even the largest volcanos) produce as much CO2 as mankind would product in a year.
Worse, it is the Sulphur Dioxide gas and particulate matter that is more damaging than the CO2 emissions.
and no a volcano does NOT release anywhere near what mankind can put CO2 into the environment.
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the correct name for water ??
it's not a hoax either, it is a factual statement.
a hoax is a false statement that is not true, what is false or not true about this ?
Is it a hoax and am I plagiarizing if I call salt sodium chloride ?
or baking soda NaCh0s ?
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Re: RE: The next threat...
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Re: Hydrogenhydroxide
you need to adjust your acid-base I think !
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I hear alot of sport people are taking a new
DHMO
.... they been seeing drinking while riding their bikes !!!.
If you see someone taking this new potent strain of DHMO report it at once...
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as officially defined in the
International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry
So to call water DHMO is a LIE...
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Re: Re: RE: The next threat...
It evaporates, it doesn't decompose (unless you're talking about 2000+ degrees C).
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Re: Knee jerk over reactions
don't you maroons get it: it will dissolve THE UNIVERSE ! ! !
(and, yes, i'm from la florida...)
art guerrilla
aka ann archy
eof
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Re: Re: Re: RE: The next threat...
no I am not just talking about water changing from liquid to vapour. What I said is what I said, it is true.
I also hazard a guess that 2000+ Degrees C, IS A HEAT RIGHT ????
do you think 2000+ Degrees C is not heat ???
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water will break down or gain extra molecules very easily, that's why it is an excellent solvent.
So yes it is strictly accurate.. liquid water turning into water vapour is not what I am talking about, it's still water.
But water placed in a car battery quickly ceases to be water, it is not a stable molecule.
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Virus Alert!
And it is mutating as we speak.
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ignorance
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h20
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Re: Virus Alert!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs
Oh, I
could tell you why
the ocean's near the shore
If I only had a brain!
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Re:
http://www.dhmo.org
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Thank you..
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garage door repair danville
but that okay.......!!
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