They encounter each other at the local gym. He asks her out to dinner. She accepts. During the splendid dinner he brags about his upper management job at Verizon.
She becomes enamored and after dinner goes home with him. On the drive home the Verizon exec constantly brags about the size of his penis. Once home, they head straight to the bedroom where she pulls down his pants and underwear.
She sees his 2 inch penis and is shocked: "You lied to me about its size!"
"No," he says, "at Verizon we call that UNLIMITED."
It's always the same rhetoric: "We are excited about the opportunity to [snip]... where we can put the full support of [more snip]... provide exciting and compelling [yet more snip]..."
I sometimes wonder what it would look like if Verizon PR people had announced Hitler's invasion of Poland and the start of WWII.
Two cows are standing in a field, eating grass. The first cow says to the second cow: "Do you think this mad cow thing is over with? Are you concerned at all?"
The 2nd cow replies: "Why should I care, I'm a californian G.O.P. congressman!".
p.s. Nunes is always filing lawsuits - it's because he has a moo-d disorder
p.p.s. Nunes has a plan to find the Nunes cow account - Nunes will keep driving around until he hears the sound of hooves on a keyboard.
p.p.p.s. Seriously Nunes, it would behoove you to stop filing these lawsuits.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could change the "winning" narrative?
Let's define winning as to whoever has the least expensive 5G !
And make it a worldwide "race"...if we try really hard (Verizon, Sprint, ATT are you listening?) we can show the rest of the world how great America is.
Being stalked by a cow is not possible...unless you removed its cowbell first. Has Nunes offered any evidence that said cow is, in actuality, "de-belled"? NO! Case closed.
On the post: Commentator Insists That Fact Checking Is An Attack On Free Speech
Another truth
Facts...are the liberals agenda! Jesus said so.
On the post: Mitch McConnell Using Section 230 Repeal As A Poison Pill To Avoid $2k Stimulus Checks
The phrophecy
It is interesting to note that the President's fellings about Section 230 were predicted centures ago. See this: https://i.redd.it/evw6bgc625861.jpg
On the post: Georgia Court Streams Ridiculous 'Kraken' Lawsuit Hearing On YouTube; Then Tells People They Can't Repost Recordings
Outlawed?
When recording federal court audio streams is outlawed, only outlaws will have recordings of federal court audio streams.
On the post: Day After Senator Lindsey Graham Is Credibly Accused Of Trying To Undermine The Election, He Hosts Hearing Attacking Social Media For Undermining Election
Re: The public...
edit: left up to
On the post: Day After Senator Lindsey Graham Is Credibly Accused Of Trying To Undermine The Election, He Hosts Hearing Attacking Social Media For Undermining Election
The public...
The public and the private sector must never, ever interfere with elections. That must be lefy up to the professionals: congressmen.
On the post: EU Court Backs Austrian Court, Says Local Libel Law Applies Everywhere In The World
EU's reach
It's a good thing that the EU wasn't around in the '30s when Germany was passing laws about Jews.
On the post: About Time: NY Governor Cuomo Signs Anti-SLAPP Law
who's a no vote?
"one assumes Devin Nunes is a no vote "
What about his cow?
On the post: Shiva Ayyadurai's Lawsuit Against A Massachusetts Official Actually Raises An Interesting 1st Amendment Question About Election Disinformation
Imagine, if you will...
How a conversation between Trump and Ayyadurai would go if they ever met:
Ayyadurai: "I'm a genius and I invented email"
Trump: "No, I'm the genius who invented email. You didn't invent it. That's fake news !"
Ayyadurai: "No, I invented email"
Trump: ""No, I invented email"
Ayyadurai: "No, I invented email"
Trump: ""No, I invented email"
(disable BREAK key; repeat arguement infinitely)
On the post: Verizon Is Still Abusing The Hell Out Of The Word 'Unlimited'
A Cautionary Story About Unlimited Manhood
They encounter each other at the local gym. He asks her out to dinner. She accepts. During the splendid dinner he brags about his upper management job at Verizon.
She becomes enamored and after dinner goes home with him. On the drive home the Verizon exec constantly brags about the size of his penis. Once home, they head straight to the bedroom where she pulls down his pants and underwear.
She sees his 2 inch penis and is shocked: "You lied to me about its size!"
"No," he says, "at Verizon we call that UNLIMITED."
On the post: Verizon Buys Tracfone As U.S. Wireless Gets Even More Consolidated
Verizon-speak
It's always the same rhetoric: "We are excited about the opportunity to [snip]... where we can put the full support of [more snip]... provide exciting and compelling [yet more snip]..."
I sometimes wonder what it would look like if Verizon PR people had announced Hitler's invasion of Poland and the start of WWII.
On the post: Trump Gets Mad That Twitter Won't Take Down A Parody Of Mitch McConnell; Demands Unconstitutional Laws
Parody?
"Ah, that is no parody."
But https://i.imgur.com/JB39tXD.jpg is...
and so is this:
https://i.imgur.com/jxYgzeA.jpg
On the post: The FCC Knows Trump's Social Media Order Is A Joke, But Fecklessly Pretends Otherwise
King Donald
"... upsetting King Donald"
King? I see him more as an emperor, goading his followers into ever bigger displays of frenzy.
On the post: Estate Of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Alleges Copyright Infringement Over Sherlock's Emotional Awakening
"...Harry Potter goes through puberty..."
I see the possibility of a great porn flick here. Unless you think someone would sue.
On the post: The Rorshach Test Of The Covington Catholic Boy's DC Encounter Now Extends To Bogus Lawsuits And Confidential Settlements
From the desk of Robert Barnes, ESQ.
" ...stop filing so many bullshit defamation lawsuits..."
Ya'll calling my filing bullshit? Such defamation will not be tolerated! I shall see you in court, sir.
On the post: George Gershwin's Rhapsody In Blue Is In The Public Domain And Gerswhin's Nephew Is Worried Someone Might Turn It Into Hip Hop
"Or someone could turn 'Porgy and Bess' into rap music.''
OMG...what's next??? Someone turning Beethoven's 5th into "A Fifth of Beethoven"?
Oh, wait...too late. Roll over Beethoven, tell George Gershwin the newwssss.
On the post: Devin Nunes Follows Through And Sues CNN In Laughably Dumb SLAPP Suit
Re: suffering from mad cow disease.
More likely, there are cows suffering from Mad Nunes disease.
On the post: Devin Nunes Follows Through And Sues CNN In Laughably Dumb SLAPP Suit
How much $$$ ?
"With this lawsuit, in which he demands $435 million..."
Wait, what? Nunes thinks his reputation is worth $435 million???
I want to suggest otherwise, but I'm udderly afraid that he would sue me if I did.
On the post: As Devin Nunes Threatens More SLAPP Suits, He May Have To Explain Why Cows Can Type In His First SLAPP Suit
Overheard on a farm filed
Two cows are standing in a field, eating grass. The first cow says to the second cow: "Do you think this mad cow thing is over with? Are you concerned at all?"
The 2nd cow replies: "Why should I care, I'm a californian G.O.P. congressman!".
p.s. Nunes is always filing lawsuits - it's because he has a moo-d disorder
p.p.s. Nunes has a plan to find the Nunes cow account - Nunes will keep driving around until he hears the sound of hooves on a keyboard.
p.p.p.s. Seriously Nunes, it would behoove you to stop filing these lawsuits.
On the post: 5G Is Not A 'Race,' And We're Incapable Of Determining Winners Even If It Was
Change the narrative?
Wouldn't it be nice if we could change the "winning" narrative?
Let's define winning as to whoever has the least expensive 5G !
And make it a worldwide "race"...if we try really hard (Verizon, Sprint, ATT are you listening?) we can show the rest of the world how great America is.
/s
On the post: Devin Nunes Demands Satirical Internet Cow Stop Making Fun Of Him... Or Else
stalking?
Being stalked by a cow is not possible...unless you removed its cowbell first. Has Nunes offered any evidence that said cow is, in actuality, "de-belled"? NO! Case closed.
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