The Internet Wins Again! Writer Gets Rapper Pitbull 'Exiled' To Alaskan Walmart
from the because-what-could-possibly-go-wrong dept
Ah, the internet. Also: ah, social media. Powerful tools, which in the right hands, can turn unknowns into legends and overstepping entities into Wikipedia entries. However, in the fumbling hands of mega-corporations, these same tools become about as unwieldy as a screwdriver being used to hammer in nails. By a bear.
When these tools are put to "use" in amateurish ways, there's always the chance that they will be re-purposed for the amusement of internet natives, who know exactly how to turn these primitive tools into weapons of mass destruction/hilarity. Anyone remember Time Magazines' ill-fated effort to crowdsource the Most Influential in the World? Long story short: thanks to a combination of Time Mag's incompetence and No One's Personal Army suddenly cohering into one man's personal army, 4chan's moot ended up topping the list of names.
David Thorpe, writer for the Boston Phoenix and... wait for it... SomethingAwful, saw an opportunity too big to pass up when Wal-Mart announced (in conjunction with something called "Sheets Energy Strips") its plan to have Miami rapper Pitbull make a personal appearance at whichever Wal-Mart store could hoover up the most "Likes." Thorpe immediately mobilized his troops, (possibly with the help of Pitbull's Energy Strips) including other SomethingAwful contributors, in order to send the man of the hour to the most remote Walmart location in the US.'
Enter Boston Phoenix writer David Thorpe, a man so put off by celebrity marketing stunts that he rallied Web troops to"Help us help Wal-Mart exile Pitbull to Alaska."To his credit, Pitbull has taken this all in stride, including tweeting about purchasing bear repellent and putting together a video explaining how he would "go anywhere for his fans." To top it all off, he invited Thorpe along for the promotional visit.
"As of now, the Kodiak Walmart has over 22,000 new 'likes' on Facebook, putting it far ahead of any other Walmart in the nation - far ahead of Kodiak's actual population, in fact," Thorpe wrote.
By Pitbull's deadline, more than 70,000 users had liked the store, located on a southern isle of the Frontier State with a population of about 6,200.
At this point, it looks as if Thorpe will have to pay his own way, but he intends on making the trip.
In an email to The Associated Press, Thorpe said it's "very likely" he'll be in Kodiak. Thorpe said he had to "raise the funds to get to Kodiak on my own, since Pitbull's invitation doesn't include actually getting me there."Thorpe's only regret seems to be that Walmart will somehow spin his prank into a social media "win" for the company, something he deems to be "gross." And in a way, it is a win for Wal-Mart, albeit one it scored without lifting a finger. Thousands saw its Facebook pages and thousands more are watching Pitbull's promo spot. And now both Pitbull and Thorpe are off to a destination best known for being way the hell away from anything else... and being home to Walmart store #2711.
Thorpe said he doesn't really have anything against Pitbull, and instead saw this as a way "to disrupt a corporate social media campaign, since they really set themselves up for it."
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Filed Under: alaska, david thorpe, internet, kodiak, pitbull, social media
Companies: walmart
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So when someone shows up with a 90,000 name internet petition, I can only think of a couple of 4chan children running a script against a phone book and a TOR connection to deliver "signatures".
Just remember this story the next time an online petition drive comes up.
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But sure, you can continue to ignore us all you want. Until we beat you next time.
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Also, nobody checks them.
Ever.
They don't care enough to bother. Who would? Ninety-thousand signatures is too small to pay attention to even if every single one were valid. There are a quarter of a billion Internet users in the US and there are no communication limitations between people like there were a few decades ago. Information spreads damned fast. Ninty-thousand is saying that 0.03% of the affected population gave enough of a damn to click away from lolcats long enough to sign a petition.
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Because thats what these discussions always end up saying. Its on the internet, so its not valid. Well fuck off the internet then. They're just as valid as digital voting would be.
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Digital voting? I've seen government systems security. It's a joke. To be fair though, it's not really any worse than the near complete lack of verification for physical balloting. It would just be a lot quicker and cheaper to do on the Internet.
Think about it. How many votes could one of the smaller botnets submit if they had a list of registered voters (extremely insecure btw) for eight or ten major cities? Yeah, essentially all of them, and before the actual voters even had their first cup of coffee down. Yes, e-voting is entirely unworkable at the moment.
If you were talking simple digital voting machines? You haven't worked with enough computerized devices to be taken seriously. They are computers so they DO have bugs. They also WILL fail at the worst possible time. And they are not up to even ATM level of security.
It truly amazes me that a lot of the same people who say DRM is unworkable because it will always be cracked will jump right on the computerized voting bandwagon. Me, I'm a paranoid as hell security guy and know that neither will ever work and the consequences for a cracked game are nothing compared to a cracked election. Then again: Ave! Bossa nova, similis bossa seneca!
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Shocking, they have these things called phone books that have names, addresses, and phone numbers.
Sorry, but a petition that doesn't have your actual signature on it isn't any better than political parties or anti-whatever groups signing up Donald Duck and dead people. It's dishonest from the word go.
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The bottom line is that networking potential of the internet is probably the singularly most powerful force in the world, and it's only going to get stronger. Laugh all you want at the online petitions, but you are just labeling yourself as out of touch.
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It got decimated by outsiders through the use of force though.
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Only way out of it was to go before the court and present your case for why; usually, people who were rich had to, but if you gave your lands and deeds to someone else, I think you were no longer obligated to do so. It led to shenanigans and loopholes, but mostly, it was a true democracy.
That being said, though, while it sounds great, the reality of it ended up being a good deal worse. You may not haveb een able to bribe someone, but assassination sure was a fine way to deal with political opponents. So in that sense, 'true democracy' isn't entirely infallible or even unobtainable; no one has really gotten there. Lots have tried, Greece coming the closest.
Still, politicans these days seem more fascinated with fascism, since it lets them push through shitty bills the public can't see. I'd rather have a broken democracy than a working fascist regime. But that's just my two cents.
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You mean 1000 people can each get 89 people to pay attention to important issues, and stop tweeting about pooping?!
THIS INTERNET THING IS AWESOME!
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He gets to see proof, first hand, of his funny "evil plan".
If the cost isn't an issue to him then it really is a win.
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Dihydrogen monoxide is called "hydroxyl acid",
the substance is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
may cause severe burns.
is fatal if inhaled.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of Styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
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Truly A Kodiak Moment
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All Win
This is a win situation for everyone. 70k+ people had a laugh, Pitbull gets a nice trip even if cold & remote, he becomes more famous, the locals will enjoy the visit, the store gets huge publicity, then Walmart has just had a very successful campaign to advertise their services.
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Re: All Win
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As Violated said above: "This is a win situation for everyone. 70k+ people had a laugh, Pitbull gets a nice trip even if cold & remote, he becomes more famous, the locals will enjoy the visit, the store gets huge publicity, then Walmart has just had a very successful campaign to advertise their services."
I'd go so far as to say that this is what we should really want out of these stunts; for everyone to have a good time.
Having said that, when the net Rickrolled the New York Mets it was a thing of beauty.
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Obscurity
Conan thing?).
By rolling with it, Walmart and Pitbull both get a LOT more press than if it were just a run of the mill contest
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David Thorpe designed a funny troll.
Whipped up support.
Carried it out.
Got invitation to get proof, first hand.
Really is a well executed troll.
exile Pitbull to the Walmart on Kodiak Island
Even the name is fucking funny.
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sorry i cant stop laughing
faceplant has really gone south with the crazy people of walnut
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MAN your one weird person.
THE idea of electronic voting is so that MORE PEOPLE VOTE.
MORE voters = better govt ( except int he bribed states of america [BSA])
there your screwed until you revolt and change the system.
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@20 again
no more bribed politicians
no more politicians required
interesting concept that scares corporations and all the lazy politicians that take bribes....
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Pitbull's Exile
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Reverse Streisand Effect
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David Thorpe saw that as an opportunity! What an ahole. I'll remember his name forever and never read his writing or participate in his bullshit.
David Thorpe reminds me of a Mafia Thug with a little power and all he does is kick and beat on somebody. A Bully. Later with this turkey. That stupid paper ?(literally a rag) will never get my perusal either.
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