Microsoft Releases Utterly Bizarre And Confusing Anti-Piracy Video
from the fear,-uncertainty-and-disorder dept
Boo! You didn't see me there, did you? That's because I'm one insidious sonofabitch. My name's piracy, and I'm everywhere. I will do things like disguise myself as a photocopier and infiltrate your business via identity theft. Or, umm, something. Here, I'll let this dramatic PSA from Microsoft fail to explain it to you:
Understand? No? Good! We want you confused and bewildered! If you're not careful, I will steal your external hard drives and stalk your attractive female employees. I even contribute to littering. And I do it all to the ominous notes of pizzicato strings, like Elmer Fudd hunting wabbits. Learn more at Microsoft's anti-piracy website, which is so poorly designed as to look like a knockoff itself—that is, if I don't run off with your computer first. Muahahaha! Piracy!
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Super LOLZ
Looks like Microshaft(tm) is trying to scare people away from OpenOffice and LibreOffice--or just open source software in general. It's like "Hey, buy our over-priced shit or you'll be sorry!!"
Pretty good video production values though...
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Essentially, Microsoft is telling people to be careful about:
-What Browsers you use (plus downloads/online purchases/worker tendencies to do these things/dangers inherent from trash with critical info on it)
-What you install on scanning devices
-What you install on mobile storage devices
They are, of course, trying to pretend that they are the only one's on the market that provide legit stuff.
The reason things get confusing is that the girl downloading has a lot of stuff all mashed together. Further, all of this is simple stuff, compared to the harder stuff in the other examples.
The watcher catches one of the items from the simple collage and is perplexed as to at least one other simple thing. This causes them to write off the more complicated events as esoteric as well, without attempting to explore what they could mean.
The video is too short to smooth out the explanation and separate the simple elements, but contains too much information to state in a fast indirect manner.
Of course, it is also primarily a big scare tactic, and may be confusing by design, as they realize they are misdirecting the watcher.
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Re: Super LOLZ
Piracy was no long a bad word since the general public no longer really cares about infringement. More often then not they do not side with the corporation.
So now they are making piracy scary again by sticking all these other crimes under the umbrella.
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Re: Re: Super LOLZ
By extension that means that all the pirates are from Somalia, even the guy having lunch in the copier. Which must also mean that the IP extremist's top villain Google must also have a large presence in Somalia which is where they hide their nefarious activities on servers squirreled away there.
Now if only Megaupload had done the same thing the site would still be up and running and Dotcom wouldn't be fighting an extradition request.
See, it does all make sense if you only look at it like the bob's and AC's of the world want you and us to look at it.
It might take a night of beer and a truckload of pot brownies to get there but I assure you that it's worth it!
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Re: Super LOLZ
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The irony is because I watched it with 100% free software: Firefox with the YouTube HTML5 beta on Fedora 16. lol
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But still, I facepalm at the thought.
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I'd just like to interject for a moment...
Fedora's version of the Linux kernel also contains nonfree, or "binary blobs".
You should consider installing a fully free distribution of GNU/Linux (or GNU Plus Linux).
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Re: I'd just like to interject for a moment...
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Who buys Microsoft Office? Especially using a company computer (and presumably intended for use on such)? My company switched to Open Office several years ago.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b4ZZQkcNEo
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Quoth Cosmo ...
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Good thing the voiceover cleared it up for me.
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I agree. Download your office software from here:
http://www.openoffice.org/
or here:
https://www.libreoffice.org/
...but I couldn't get WTF it was with the photocopier and the external hard drive.
Me either. Although, I did chase a creepy green guy out of a Xerox machine once back in the 90's. It was after a couple-few drinks at an office party, so I don't really remember all the details.
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http://www.abisource.com/
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Only people trying hard to ignore an issue could miss it (Hi Marcus!)
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Noooo!
Tell me more so that we can all be enlightened.
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Maybe with 'hackers', but you threw that in so you would have a point, because they certainly never brought that up.
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And then there's a identity thief hiding inside every copier and scanner too if only you get the right models. (See above)
Not only that but piracy forces itself into every office, crackers lay in wait at the other end of the WAN and LAN waiting for a nice view of cleavage before downloading malware!
All without most people, it appears, being aware of the dangers out there or in there or somewhere there on the bosses completely unsecured LAN running a Windows server, no doubt. (Not like there's an ad agency in existence that will acknowledge the mere existence of other server OS's.)
I know without reading the article what the ad is trying to say. I'm equally sure that no one over the age of 6 will take it seriously and precious few under that age will.
It's certainly not going convince anyone with it's year old beef stew approach to any of the topics it tries to cover.
Love the production values, though!
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Oh, did you make that part up?
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And their number one target... Survey says... Microsoft.
Don't have problems with hackers, viruses, worms, trojans, etc. on my Linux box, and my Linux and FreeBSD servers don't have 02efpk.html for download from unsuspecting users from trojans sent to them on their windows box with hotmail reading and running them by default.
How Microsoft can claim, with a straight face, that they have anything to do with protecting you from hackers is beyond me.
Only people trying hard to ignore an issue could miss it (Hi Marcus!)
I am not trying to ignore, I am trying to understand, and I apparently missed it.
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I'm not one to shy from bashing Microsoft, but I think you're confusing "most insecure" with "most highly targeted".
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Nope. I never said that they were the most insecure. I did say that they were the number one target. However, it begs the question, why are they a number one target? Its an argument I really don't want to get into because it borders on jedi wars (religion,) but the usual answers as to why is that they have one of the largest footprints (which may be true for workstations, but certainly not servers,) or they are commercial and nobody hacks open source (which is arguable,) or that they are easier to hack. I left it as an exercise to the reader to figure out why they are the most targeted.
I have Windoze machines, which I am able to secure quite well, but what I really want to understand is why do you have to have elevated privileges to install user software on Windows? And why do large numbers of "user" software require privileged accounts in order to run properly. Once Microsoft figures out how to run a system so that elevated privileges are the exception and not the rule, things will be a lot better for them, but we've gone through a number of iterations and they haven't managed to do so yet.
I do like how when I have run across trojans or viruses on the non-Windows side, I clear out the user's directory and anything they had write access to and its done, whereas I have to format and reload Windows every-time because the user was using elevated privileges to web-browse. Non-windows systems tell you when you log in (at least through X-Windows running GNOME/KDE,) that you are being stupid if you log into the root account, and dropping root privileges doesn't prevent stuff from working properly.
So yeah, I said number 1 target but I think it is safe to say that they are pretty damn insecure too.
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Fanfiction central
*Apologies to Leigh and Mike for delving into the minds of the TechDirt trolls/shills.*
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Re: Fanfiction central
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I got some over here.
BTW, I found it hilarious.
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Re: Fanfiction central
I think I'd be mad at you, if you hadn't given me "luscious lips" and a "handsome visage" - clearly someone did their research ;)
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Now that I'm throughly startled is there some company I can pay inordinate sums of money to make that feeling go away?
A wild Microsoft logo appears...
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Malware thrives on P2P networks
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
Every Windoze Lüzer out there is at big risk... not that I feel sorry for them.
"Here's a nickel kid, get yourself a better computer."
/smug
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Re: Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
I nearly fell off of my chair laughing at that. It has often been my experience that the legitimate software i always full with that kind of stuff (toolbars for example, like Ask.com) while much of the stuff on P2P networks has been clean. Sure the occasional noob will complain over an obvious false positive, but that is only because they are clueless as to how their AV software works and the policies of certain developers behind them. Been sharing since the 70's and have NEVER been infected with one iota of malware.
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PS: Do you watch Supernatural by any chance? :p
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
Yeah, that's why you have malware, adware and virus protections.
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
The entire video that was linked above.
Why didn't you just ask "So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?" so that when we replied that there was nothing like that at all in the video you could have just replied "Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span."?
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
"often stuff that will track you" - Oh you mean like my ISP and the government. At least I can get rid of the malware junk.
"and try to replace your links with affiliate links." - You mean like going to (insert website here) and getting infected?
"Do you still use the verb "share" to describe infecting someone with an STD?" - Please cite when it ever was used that way.
1/10
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
And no, I don't use the verb "to share" to describe infecting someone with and STD though posts by someone called bob around here tempt me to do so just as soon as I acquire one.
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
it only happens to people who are who are clueless
great STD joke by the way i have not heard that since fourth grade.
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
No one gets Antivirus 2012 from P2P...
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Re: Malware thrives on P2P networks
By the way, DRM is malware too. Most also consider the annoying toolbars/search bars to be malware, especially where they have been made difficult to eliminate. Since the supposedly legit stuff is often loaded with one or the other, P2P is actually the malware free environment, as it is actually driven by demand.
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I see you are trying to "think".
Much of the software on P2P networks is infected with malware
And you are a repeat-offending child-molester.
Like you, I provide no proof, but both our statements must be accepted as fact, even absent one scintilla of proof. Like fox "news", anything we state is true by default.
often stuff that will track you and try to replace your links with affiliate links.
You must be in sales at microshaft - who else would say "replace your links with affiliate links". (Excuse me for a moment. After quoting that, I have to go wash the manure taste out of my metaphoric mouth with lye soap.)
Btw, what you say hasn't happened to me once in 15 years of intense web activity. Then again, I don't use microshaft products. I'm sure its just bad design on their part, as usual.
The malware authors have a big incentive to create infected software
And the dead turd authors at microshaft have a big incentive to create dead turds that any 4-year-old could infect in 5 seconds.
and "share" it
microshaft capitalists despise the word "share" (and use it as a derogatory epithet), like normal people despise the word "vomit".
as you P2P junkies so lovingly call it.
(Ooh, the deep jabs of your grade 4 wit - they tickle like feathers!)
When I was 3, my mother told me to share my ice-cream cone with my big sister Lucy. I didn't know she was a "P2P junkie". Thanks for the info.
(Do you still use the verb "share" to describe infecting someone with an STD?)
I dunno. But I call counseling someone to use a microshaft product "infecting them with an ASTD (anti-socially-transmitted disease".
I also know a horribly lame troll when I read one like yours. Either that, or you are the world's biggest dope.
----
Long live free software and death to microshaft and its really bad trolls!
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/sarcasm
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Using credit cards online can be risky if you don't know who the company is.
A good ad, but it has nothing to do with piracy. It has to do with using good personal security.
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The connection to piracy is never made in the video.
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It has the potential to be a good ad about personal security at the office and the need for people to be careful about things like credit card numbers and what they take pictures of on copiers and scanners. The problem comes when the ad tries to cover too much ground in 60 seconds. Quite honestly it would have been far more effective as three 20 second ads focusing on each of the three messages they were trying to get out about security.
And then, for some of us anyway, maybe a lot of it, there's the MS tag line off the end which, by itself, can negate a lot of the positive message(s) in the ad.
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I got it!
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Anyway, I didn't see anything about pirates. I saw only reminding about security risks, caused by downloading bad software LitWare.
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Great Laugh!
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Imho, it's just stupidity of Microsoft video makers. Uneducation about terms.
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That was a black and white printer, and he was in color!
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Another Thought
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umm
freeze at 0:21 = peer to peer
just seems if you are going to make a horrible PSA, you wouldnt jack up the basic things, and save your ruin for the overall message.
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Re: umm
Hah! I froze it at 0:23, and it all makes sense...she is buying the software from an auction site! She isn't buying it from Microsoft directly. So LitWare is some sort of EBay site.
Piracy apparently now includes buying legitimate software from auction sites too. If you don't buy from Microsoft, you are apparently getting ripped off. Still don't understand the rest, but ok.
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Re: Re: umm
Oh, and young ladies with corporate credit cards are using them to download illegal copies of Microsoft Office? Seriously? Really? That would be a sacking offense in most corporations. They really do not want a nasty visit from the BSAA.
The corporations that are watching the pennies are using Libre Office. The others are paying a discounted price to their local Microsoft dealer, and staying nice and legal.
The vast majority of illegal copies of Microsoft Office are used by people who are too lazy to investigate free alternatives. They are also deluded about the likelihood of getting caught. MS Office "phones home" whenever there is an internet connection. If MS figures out that you are anything other than a penniless nobody, the BSAA comes a-knocking.
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Re: Re: Re: umm
And this little theory of mine is why I'm building a Linux running nothing but open-source software.
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I then put that steak into a lovely balsamic vinegarette marianade, allowed it to soak for nearly an hour, and then placed it on a clean plate to be peppered with garlic salt and crushed red pepper. Then I took the steak out onto my deck and opened the grill-
AND BICKETY BAM SIX MEN IN HOODIES AND WIERD ANKLETS POURED OUT OF THE GRILL HATCH, KNOCKED THE FUCKING STEAK PLATE OUT OF MY HAND, AND PUNCHED ME IN THE LEFT NUT.
I died of testicular tortion later that day. And do you know why?
because #piracyiseverywhere....
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It was not a happy day for me.
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Never buy a used car from a salesman with floppy feet, orange hair and a big red nose.
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Also, I'm officially pirating that slogan as my new sig:
#piracyiseverywhere
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Redheads
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http://www.amywalkeronline.com/
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guys guys guys hold on
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Loss of data, apply directly to the forehead.
Financial risk, apply directly to the forehead.
Palm slap, apply directly to the forehead.
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intentionally misleading
The ending had me scratching my head indeed.
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So don't work in an office cause there's thieves everywhere?
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Just for laughs, picture it. Bored office drone is sitting there, eating a sandwich and looking for pirated (or free, it's not clear) software. Suddenly, there are creepy eyes peering at them, and dramatic music as they get closer to their download... suddenly, the creepy guy is also eating a very similar sandwich. A moment later, the guy finds the software he wants, and the creepy guy is now wearing the same outfit. When he hits download, the creepy guy now has the same hairstyle.
The horror.
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Note, i dont think its that black and white, but as an example...... monkey see, monkey do
and then have 'THE DANGERS OF FRAUD AND IDENTITY THEFT', show up at the end
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Big Brother
This was the best idea $1mil could buy? There is more being communicated here than what meets the eye.
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W.... T... F...
I'm off to pick myself up a six-pack of Guinness and I'll try watching this again after a couple of beers to see if if makes any more sense.
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what worse than Techdirt's web site design ????
I find that very hard to believe...
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it's so obvious
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Re: it's so obvious
And how crappy its licensing system is.
According to the website, if you buy a computer with Windows 7 Home Edition on it, and then you buy a Windows 7 Professional Volume License and install it on the computer, you are violating their license. Apparently you can only buy computers with Windows 7 Professional on them and then "upgrade" them with a Windows 7 Professional Volume License (that of course you pay more money for.) Talk about confusing.
When it comes to the point that you have to have your lawyer review the license for software you plan on buying, they are doing it wrong. Lucky for them, they have marketshare to keep them afloat, but at some point customers are going to say "to hard," and walk away to systems that have easier to understand licensing.
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Typical Microsoft - Yet another F. U. D. Campaign.
If you are not familiar with FUD, look up Microsoft leaked Halloween Documents.
open source software "is long-term credible ... FUD tactics can not be used to combat it,"
In spite of the above Microsoft internal statement they are going to try and try again just the same.
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That was the moral, right?
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The network controller runs linux, it encrypts images on a hard drive temporarily, and the rest of the system is custom xerox/fuji hardware, of which I doubt many exploits are available.
Seeing a person inside made me wonder how long it took to prep the unit to get someone inside. With all of the mechanicals, it had to take a good few hours to gut the machine. An then more to hack the plates between the scanner section on top and the printer below, the printer section to the feed tray section, and the bottom of the feed tray section into the base.
I still fail to see the risk. Anyone can steal your wallet and take your identity, no copier required.
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What is...
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Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy
http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/howtotell/default.aspx
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Re: Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy
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Re: Anti-Counterfeit, NOT Anti-piracy
Um, the video (which microsoft uploaded to promote the website) is titled "Piracy Lurks Everywhere", which is also the tag it shows immediately before the URL to the site
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This is obviously not ment to make sense. I think it's a new form of ''Rorschach test'' look at the video and tell me what you see.
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So, if piracy = counterfit and fraud, whats the new word for those who download media for entertaintment purposes, because obviously, we cant use piracy anymore ..........oh wait, i knw what their trying to do,
SMEAR CAMPAIGN
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But why let common sense get in the way of a good witch burning?
(Waiting to be called a shill, anti-tam, etc. although I only call out when everyone falls off the deep end into reactionary bullshit)
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most of the site they link to is "how to avoid counterfeit microsoft software and products." and that P2P and auction sites (like amazon) should be "avoided", instead people should shop at the Microsoft store. Their even as behind the times as to think people selling physical bootlegs is even really a problem anymore.
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Horrible
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Just another day at the oriface
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Bizzare but makes you think
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Micro$##t kinda have a point
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48,000 Views In 4 Years
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