Our Turn To Get Bizarre Legal Threats From Global Wildlife Foundation

from the you-are-saved-and-wait-for-me! dept

Wed, Mar 6th 2013 12:23pm — Mike Masnick

So, on Monday, we wrote about some bizarre legal threats sent to Ken White (aka Popehat) concerning a story both of us had written about years ago. That story was about how a Louisiana zoo called the Global Wildlife Center (apparently run by the Global Wildlife Foundation), got upset about an obviously satirical article about giraffes at the GWC killing people, mocking a recent spate of attacks on humans by animals in captivity. The GWC was briefly able to get an injunction that was quickly removed when someone realized that there's this amazing thing called the First Amendment... For reasons unknown, years later, Ken Matherne, suddenly started threatening White over his original post on the story, which quoted a local news source saying the following:

In addition to filing this lawsuit, via email Global Wildlife Foundation president Ken Matherne threatened to file criminal charges, FCC charges, fraud charges, an IRS complaint, a governor's office complaint, and a federal lawsuit against Brilleaux. Matherne's email did not explain any basis for the additional threats.

Matherne sent a series of emails to White, each more endearingly wacky that the previous one, full of interesting legal theories and creative use of the English language. You can read the details from the earlier post, but just to pass on a few of the more memorable quotes:

I did not say anything at the time. But, I think he would get dis-board by the falsified documents he presented to the judge. His father was a friend or I would have had he dis-board.

We are going to dp this all legal – get ready – I will have one of your partners, associates , friends , spouses, in dispositions for the at least the next 6 – 12 months. Minimum – 1 lawsuit lasted 12.7 years, the next only 6 . I have the means – so write me back or get ready.

Ken It was a BS move – and I appreciate that you do that for the best of people – but you always know our kids are first – and I don't care how many $ it takes – my daughter will not live with this – so I will ask you one more time to pull this down – as a gentleman – or I will come to you! My airplane is only 10k an hour – have more cash & Gold in the bank than you can imagine – but if you hurt my daughter through this – my executives has all authority to go until all is done – I only have 1 daughter and it breaks her heart to see this! I would not do this to you or your family!

And more like that. Anyway, we wrote about that and posted it Monday. Today is Wednesday. At 12:49am California time this morning (2:49am in Louisiana, where the Global Wildlife Center is based), it appears that Ken Matherne subscribed to our daily email. Three minutes later, he unsubscribed. One minute after that, the general catchall email address that is the "from" in the subscription confirmation email, received a message from Matherne with the following subject line and no message:

you are saved and wait for me!

Leaving aside the vague notions of religious salvation, we waited. Not for long. At 1:39am our time, we received a "reply" to the unsubscribe notice that just said:

Get ready!

With anticipation building, we continued to wait (actually, we were all asleep). Eight minutes after that email, we got the following:

What state are you registered in? And if any of your two companies are affiliated - we should start to proceed. My daughter asked me not to last night. But after you new post -- I am coming!

Law is the Law !

Half an hour later (about an hour and a half after he first "subscribed") we get to... well... something:

I will save this - as I will see you in court! You may think this is fun and games - I believe in the law. I believe in the court system. You have just started a conspiracy and you documented it yourself.

So take my foundation down out of your harmful and malice posts or I will spend the next 20 years of my life, with every appeal, and every court to see justice. I will sue you as individuals and corporations - if they are legit.

Gentlemen, I only requested you do the right thing. Now you make the decision. And never use the word that I threaten you. I have been kind and upset, but I would never threaten anyone.

I never raised my voice to my wife. I don't care of your back ground - but through investigation and depositions, I will know each and everyone one of you.

You can print this to under one of you internet companies - but please note that I will hire enough geeks to play fair.

I want an answer by 10 CST that you will stop the damage you and your associates have done. I will have no choice but to proceed to expose you and associates, everything! And I love court and depositions!

I like how he is emailing us after 2am California time, where we are located, and giving us less than 6 hours to respond. While we are curious how reporting on facts means that we have started "a conspiracy," and find it even more interesting that he appears to directly be admitting that his intention is merely to tie us up in court, we believe that he probably should have heeded the original advice of his daughter that this was not a productive path to take.

He might also want to look up the definition of what a "threat" is, because saying that he will spend the next 20 years taking us to court is pretty much the definition of a threat.

Anyway, if there is anything he feels we wrote about him that is inaccurate, we (of course) are open to hearing about it, reviewing the evidence and determining if any correction needs to be issued. Though, as we saw with White, Matherne never seemed to provide any such evidence. Either way, we aren't easily bullied by random threats based on bluster and a weak understanding of the law.

Oh, and we should note that while Matherne was referred to as the President of the Global Wildlife Foundation in that original press report that White quoted, one of our commenters pointed out that Matherne does not appear to be listed as an officer, director, trustee or key employee of the Global Wildlife Foundation, according to its publicly available IRS filings, the latest of which you can see here or embedded below. Other reports have said that Matherne is merely the President of the Foundation's "advisory board."

Either way, I would suggest that his emailed threats to both us and Ken White are not doing the Global Wildlife Foundation or Global Wildlife Center any favors. Also, since I imagine he'll be reading this soon enough, Ken Matherne: I believe in the law, too. And the law doesn't let you just make up reasons to bring people to court because you're upset that those people are reporting on factual information that involves an organization that you are connected to. Again, if you believe there are factual inaccuracies in our reporting, we are happy to review the evidence. Otherwise, continually sending these kinds of emails isn't helping anyone.

721188962 201112 990 (PDF)721188962 201112 990 (Text)

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Filed Under: ken matherne, legal threats
Companies: global wildlife center, global wildlife foundation

123 Comments

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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 11:07am

Otherwise, continually sending these kinds of emails isn't helping anyone.

I don't know; I find the whole episode rather amusing. I do feel a bit guilty though as it seems like he might be suffering from some sort of disability.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:19pm
  
  Re:
  You've misspelled delusion.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Anonymous Coward, 7 Mar 2013 @ 12:23am
    
    Re: Re:
    No, no. You can get on disability with delusional as a prognosis.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 7 Mar 2013 @ 2:53am
  
  Re:
  please, do not tar those of us with mental disabilities with the same brush as this guy. This guy is stupid, not disabled.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Jesse (profile), 7 Mar 2013 @ 7:17am
    
    Re: Re:
    Amazing that you can diagnose him over the internet like that.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Ninja (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 11:07am

It must be the giraffes.

They should really put an adult to take care of the pen.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Jeff (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 11:17am

As was mentioned in the story on Monday - I wonder if they (GWF) had their web server compromised, and the script kiddies are sending crap out in their name for the lulz? I can't believe somebody could sink even lower than our resident trolls... :-|
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:26pm
  
  Re:
  Agreed. I think Hanlon's Razor applies.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- dennis deems (profile), 7 Mar 2013 @ 6:56am
  
  Re:
  Actually that would make sense of the bizarre warning shots -- "you are saved and wait for me!" "Get ready!" and the fact that this seems to have gone down in the middle of the night.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
GMacGuffin (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 11:23am

What request?
I like how he said "Gentlemen, I only requested you do the right thing," but does not appear to have requested anything at all.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:56pm
  
  Re: What request?
  Don't you realize? All us internet people were told already - we're a single hive-mind, we know what we've been told, and we didn't listen.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Tali (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:02pm
  
  Re: What request?
  Hey requested that the stories referring GWF to be taken down
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Rikuo (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:08pm
    
    Re: Re: What request?
    Um no, he requested that someone else, on a completely separate and independent website take down their articles. Unless Mike is keeping mum about it, there hasn't been any requests to Techdirt to take down content.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
    - Tali (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:01pm
      
      Re: Re: Re: What request?
      But he asked SOMEONE
      He already said this is a conspiracy between the two websites, so OBVIOUSLY he doesn't have to request it of both.
      
      You just aren't fluent enough in crazy-rage
      [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Josh in CharlotteNC (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 11:47am

"Law is the Law !"

Oh boy. That sounds familiar.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Chris Rhodes (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:34pm
  
  Re:
  We found Average_Joe!
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Lord Binky, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:37pm
  
  Re:
  If things don't always go smoothly for you, there's a good reason why, that is The Law.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- radarmonkey (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:45pm
  
  Re:
  ♫ What is the law?
  ♪ NO SPILL BLOOD!
  
  (with apologies to Oingo Boingo)
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:05pm
  
  Re:
  "Theft is theft!" ?
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Vic, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:14pm
    
    Re: Re:
    "Madness is madness!"
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
    - Yakko Warner (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:42pm
      
      Re: Re: Re:
      "This is SPARTA!"
      [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:40pm
  
  Re:
  What we're dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- MattS, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:56pm
  
  Re:
  Judge Dread, there's a call for you on line 9.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:39pm
  
  Re:
  M-O-O-N. That spells law.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
S. T. Stone, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:26pm

This guy sounds like he ate an entire bag of batshit and went 300% crazy in the process.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- TheLastCzarnian (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:04pm
  
  Re:
  Say it all with a Cajun accent and it makes sense!
  
  "Your home is where you make it!"
  
  "You like to see homeboy's naked?"
  - Joe Dirt
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Unanimous Cow Herd (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:07pm
  
  Re:
  I agree. I have supported GWF and now am totally unsure whether I will in the future. What is his salary from the GWF anyway? How much of my money ended up funding his 10K MPH jet (full of sharks with lasers on their heads)?
  
  In Mr. Matherne's defense, he could just be feeling the effects of toxic gasses released by fracking in the 11,000-feet-deep Haynesville Shale deposits. Maybe?
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Nappa (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:31pm

Vegeta, what do the emails say about his sanity level?
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Vegeta (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:32pm
  
  Re:
  IT'S NEGATIVE NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Rikuo (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:38pm
    
    Re: Re:
    You sir(s) just made my day. High fives all around, and everyone else, shut up, I don't care its a cliche now.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - That Anonymous Coward (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:44pm
    
    Re: Re:
    *slow claps*
    You've won.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 7:51pm
    
    Re: Re:
    LMFAO! Thank you!
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - Ninja (profile), 7 Mar 2013 @ 1:53am
    
    Re: Re:
    *slow claps echoing that ac*
    
    That was epic.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
lucidrenegade (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:34pm

I was imagining Mr. Chow from "The Hangover" reading those e-mails out loud.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Coogan (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:05pm
  
  Re:
  Colin Mochrie, for me...
  
  http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lksjqqRa5N1qihssro1_250.jpg
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:37pm

I feel like this deserves a generic internet "What are you, 13?" response.
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:37pm

What. The. Fuck?
I have no idea what I just read. Crazy-nese doesn't translate well.
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- Anonymous Coward, 7 Mar 2013 @ 1:50am
  
  Re: What. The. Fuck?
  LOL According to his message he believes in the LAW!!!
  
  According to its content and syntax he doesn't believe in grammar, spelling, or English teachers.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Berenerd (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:38pm

If he really has all that money...
Then I need to start my own non-profit...

Also, he needs to learn the English language...for his daughter's sake.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:42pm
  
  Re: If he really has all that money...
  He inherited his father's oil business and money. Starting a non-profit will not automagically turn your father into a recently deceased oil tycoon.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:43pm

Christ, what an asshole.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- MattS, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:58pm
  
  Re:
  He must be from the planet Uranus.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
radarmonkey (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:43pm

Supply list
When reading Techdirt stories, I invariable need either (a) aspirin, or (b) popcorn.

This definitely falls in the 'popcorn' category.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- DOlz, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:09pm
  
  Re: Supply list
  How about aspirin flavored popcorn, then you're always covered.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - John Fenderson (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:20pm
    
    Re: Re: Supply list
    Ick. I'd rather have popcorn-flavored aspirin.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
    - Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:50pm
      
      Re: Re: Re: Supply list
      But my stock in popcorn farmers!
      [ link to this | view in chronology ]
    - Tali (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:05pm
      
      Re: Re: Re: Supply list
      There is always the option of popcorn with the healing power of aspirin...
      
      BRB inventing that shit and becoming a millionare
      [ link to this | view in chronology ]
      - Eldakka (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:43pm
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Supply list
        Don't go giving Monsanto any ides...
        [ link to this | view in chronology ]
        
        Anonymous Coward, 7 Mar 2013 @ 6:48am
        
        Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Supply list
        ...of march.
        [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:44pm

Wow. Was seeing my old teacher there for a moment.
He would make a terrible villain in a movie; revealing his plot in the beginning and all.
If the daughter is reading this, then I feel sorry for you because your father is either gonna have to back down or get terribly humiliated later.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:51pm
  
  Re:
  Speaking of humiliation, his daughter is humiliated right now. Second, I feel sorry for her and her mother both, since he plans to blow his family's income on lawyers and courts. His comments about how he has vast sums of money is either: Horseshit intended to intimidate, he plans on using GWF's lawyers and resources to defend his position, or he's been skimming.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Stig Rudeholm (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:44pm

You have no chance to survive make your time!
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- dennis deems (profile), 7 Mar 2013 @ 6:45am
  
  Re:
  Move ZIG for great justice!
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
That Anonymous Coward (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:45pm

The biggest pity for him is Prenda won't be able to take his case.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- DannyB (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:26pm
  
  Re:
  Maybe John Steele can take his case? Even if Mr. Steele is not a member of the bar in Louisiana, that would not be an obstacle to Mr. Steele. Mr. Steele could sit in the audience front row, and whisper instructions over the railing to the Pretend lawyer.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
  - That Anonymous Coward (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 8:15pm
    
    Re: Re:
    I do believe that Mr. Steele is going to be otherwise occupied for the foreseeable future. So occupied he dropped his lawsuit against the real Alan Cooper, his lawyer, and a cast of bloggers and commentators.
    [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Adam V, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:33pm
  
  Re:
  Charles Carreon may be available - unless he's hiding out from another process server.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Zem, 6 Mar 2013 @ 9:50pm
  
  Re:
  I am inspired. Need to give up the day job so I can search the jungle wilds of africa. ALl in the hope of discovering a new giraffe species that I can call the Prenda Giraffe.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
alanbleiweiss (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:47pm

Terrible ORM tactic
As an SEO specialist I've seen this insanity way too often.

It is, in almost all likelihood, an attempt to get search results for Ken Matherene cleansed of the old entry that comes up when searching for his name. It really has nothing to do with the foundation if that's the case. Pure personal brand damage "control". Bizarrely addressed in the extreme.

He has no comprehension that he's now done like everyone else who chooses the path of outrage, and just added even more such entries under his search results.

Dear Ken - congratulations. By threatening PopeHat (love how you interpret that moniker as "pot-hate"...) You've now thrown massive volumes of gasoline on your online reputation fire. And by going after TechDirt, you just brought in an entire tree's worth of additional wood for the fire.
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william (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:50pm

Well, like President Obama has said before in a debate

"Please proceed, governor, I mean, Matherne."
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
....., 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:52pm

......
ken white=ootb? so much is possible.
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William Munny, 6 Mar 2013 @ 12:57pm

Fluent Rodman
Mr. Matherne appears to speak fluent Rodman. Or, at least, a similar dialect.
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- DannyB (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:22pm
  
  Re: Fluent Rodman
  A similar dialect of English is known as Palin.
  
  It works like this. Take the first half of a correctly formed or almost correctly formed sentence. Then add the second half of a different fully or almost correctly formed sentence.
  
  You never get one completed sentence, because halfway through, the focus shifts. I heard some old ones recently on The Daily Show with John Stewart and realized that this is how the Palin dialect seemed to work.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
mmrtnt (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:00pm

Deja Vu
Matherne's use of the english language reminds me of the Evan Mecham impeachment hearings in Arizona, years ago.

Mecham's frequent inability to construct coherent sentences was so fascinating, that I set my VCR to record when he was on the stand while I was at work.

I still have all of that audio somehwere...
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:32pm
  
  Re: Deja Vu
  This VCR you speak of... what type of technology is this, oh elder one? :-P
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
....., 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:02pm

restate
*reads again* oh his name is matherne? sorry about that mr white if your reading.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Vic (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:12pm
  
  Re: restate
  Heisenberg? Is that you?
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:02pm

The interesting part is how he is constantly denying that he was threatening anyone when he clearly was. I knew a person who would deny that they were angry when she is having an angry argument with you and you pointed out that she was angry. I wonder if there is a word for those kind of people.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:23pm
  
  Re:
  No, but there are three words: Bat Shit Insane
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Colin, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:06pm

I love this so much.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Watchit (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:07pm

So... are we sure this isn't just a case of a hacked email account? Because this shit is just too funny to be true.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
Allen Harkleroad (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:07pm

PR at it's worst - What a Maroon... LOL
I've had folks try similar things because I/we have exposed the truth. Worst PR you could ever get, by threatening folks with questionable legal threats. I imagine at some point he will skulk off into the night. While these kinds of things can be disconcerting, they are only feeding their own egos.

Personally I would publicize this till the end of days and encourage others to do the same. If you ask me this is pretty much an "Internet Bully", that has no real means to do anything other than run his/her/it's mouth. Which makes it even more funny.

LOL
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Brian, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:07pm

State Records
You can search the States corporate records here:http://www.sos.la.gov/tabid/819/default.aspx You can not link to results. He is listed asagent, but not a director. He is also associate with several other Louisianna corporations.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
P. Techdirt, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:08pm

Dear Mr. Matherne -

As the real owner of Popehat, Techdirt and KMart, I assure you I have more than enough cash to dp you legally. My lawyer's address is at http://boards.4chan.org/b/ - just type in all your demands and you will receive an answer very quickly.

Yours,

Popehat Techdirt
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- Trails (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:33pm
  
  Re:
  Don't forget to refer him to Arkell v. Pressdram
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- mike, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:27pm
  
  Response to: P. Techdirt on Mar 6th, 2013 @ 1:08pm
  Ahahahahaha. I can't stop laughing.
  
  dp means two things
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- So lurker, 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:25pm
  
  +10
  woot!
  
  still laughing
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
mmrtnt (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:09pm

Glass Full
Well, look on the bright side... Looks like he learned how to spell "deposition".
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
DannyB (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:09pm

dis-board?
did not say anything at the time. But, I think he would get dis-board by the falsified documents he presented to the judge. His father was a friend or I would have had he dis-board.
I assume he meant dis-bored, or more concisely entertained.
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:11pm

This is either an elaborate troll or he's losing his mind.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- MattS, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:06pm
  
  Re:
  How do you know it's not both?
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:13pm

I wonder if there is a word for those kind of people.

Yeap they call em cajuns.
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:14pm

According to the Times-Picayune (http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2012/02/following_sanctuary_deers_deat.html), he is "Global Wildlife founder". His own LinkedIn page (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ken-matherne/25/9b9/a42) simply has his role as "Advisory Board".

He appears to have made many political donations, tracked by various services, such as the Christian Science Monitor reporting that he contributed $2,500 to the Romney campaign for US President (http://donors.csmonitor.com/l/1982552/Matherne-Ken). There, he is listed as "Self-Employed" at "Global Resources Inc.".

That "Global Resources, Inc." is a curious firm. The LinkedIn page pointed to from Mr. Matherne's entry (http://www.linkedin.com/company/global-resources?trk=ppro_cprof) says that it provides "Information Technology professionals". Other sites (http://www.salespider.com/b-56196022/global-resources-inc) claim that it provides "Amusement And Recreation Services". They also seem to lack a home page (at least one that scores sensibly in Google searches), which would seem to be a prerequisite for filling "Information Technology" positions in this day and age.

A Christina Matherne also appears on election contribution lists, and is cited as being a "manager" at Global Resources (http://www.city-data.com/elec2/elec-FOLSOM-LA.html). One presumes that she is his wife, as they appear in "The Ken and Christina Matherne Endowed Scholarship for Athletics" (http://www.lionsports.net/sports/2012/5/14/laa_0514125257.aspx?path=laa).
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:14pm
  
  Re:
  A "Matherne Endowed Scholarship for Athletics" implies riding in short buses.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:50pm
  
  Re:
  That's about all that can be found about Global Resources, Inc. As far as I can tell, they have nothing to do with the polymer company.
  [ link to this | view in chronology ]
Allen Harkleroad (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:17pm

LOL
The best route is to tell them to put up (sue us) or shut up... Just sayin.
[ link to this | view in chronology ]
weneedhelp (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:25pm

Gary Busey and this guy have long meaningful conversations together.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:47pm
  
  Re:
  As someone whose steam handle is Gary Busey, I love this comment.
  
  I have no doubt as to whether or not this is absolutely true.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:51pm
  
  Re:
  Drug & alcohol-frenzied Gary Busey or 'I found God through AA' Gary Busey?
  
  The difference may be subtle, but I just want to know.
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Vidiot (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:29pm

Call Discovery Networks
A REALITY SHOW IS BORN! Poorly-spoken Southerners, inane rantings, a crazy old coot... all this, and GIRAFFES!
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- Allen Harkleroad (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:32pm
  
  Re: Call Discovery Networks
  Poorly spoken Southerners? Don't pull the rest of us into this...
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  - Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:54pm
    
    Re: Re: Call Discovery Networks
    He didn't say that all Southerners are poorly spoken, just that his reality show would focus on the poorly spoken ones.
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  - Vidiot (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:57pm
    
    Re: Re: Call Discovery Networks
    That's the problem with his written diatribes... the idiocy isn't softened by a charming, rustic accent. We Yankees would marvel at the folksy wisdom of the Yellow Pages, read aloud to us by Jeff Foxworthy. Or Foghorn Leghorn.
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    - Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 6:11pm
      
      Re: Re: Re: Call Discovery Networks
      I'm thinking Spencer Tracy in Inherit the Wind.
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Glen, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:31pm

I'm thinking there will be several updates to the original story and I will love every single one of them.
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:33pm

If appears his understanding of US law is as strong as his grasp of the English language (I have friends for whom English is a second, third, and in one case fifth language whose use of proper grammar is better than these emails).
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- JoeCool (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:18pm
  
  Re: Clearly, his keyboard is the problem.
  I once left a review of a fanfic story where the author wrote very much the same as Mr Matherne. I said I thought the story had potential, but he desperately needed to get a proof-reader who used English as a primary language. He wrote an angry response back that not only was English his primary language, he was an English major in a major US university, and any problems in the story (if any) were strictly due to problems with his keyboard. Mr Matherne is clearly using the same keyboard. ;) :D
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  - alanbleiweiss (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:36pm
    
    Re: Re: Clearly, his keyboard is the problem.
    As scary as it may seem, there are people who actually speak the same way Matherne communicated in writing. Cultural, regional, familial... whatever the foundational cause, and as much as we prefer to believe "that's butchered language", to some people it's their distinct way of communicating.
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Tali (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:44pm

I warned you
Mike, I told you to be careful, lest he call you libel too. Little did I know that he would think you are "pot-hate" (or at least in conspiracy with him and his boyfriends)
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Ken, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:52pm

Another Fine Mess I've Gotten You Into, Stanley
I've taken the trouble of tracking down the attorney who represented the Global Wildlife Center in the 2010 defamation case. He was out; I left a message with his assistant. I will seek to determine whether he still represents the Center, and if so, whether he can tell me if Mr. Matherne is authorized to be making legal threats on behalf of the Center.

I will conduct myself accordingly.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:55pm
  
  Re: Another Fine Mess I've Gotten You Into, Stanley
  'Another Fine Mess I've Gotten You Into, Stanley'
  
  Well, yeah! And YOU SHOULD BE SHAME!
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:00pm
  
  Re: Another Fine Mess I've Gotten You Into, Stanley
  You shouldn't be so quick to take the blame on this one... even if he points the finger at you, Matherne's responsibility doesn't go away.
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The Old Man in The Sea, 6 Mar 2013 @ 1:55pm

Using a speech recognition program to write emails
In this country, a piece of software has been advertised on tv called Dragon. One use that is shown is to send emails. From what I can tell, someone with a very bad accent while drunk or drugged is using such a product to create and send the emails. Mayhaps the person in question needs someone to help them compose the material instead of trying to do it themselves. As you can be so eloquent, it might behoove you to offer your services in this matter so that something sensible is sent. if you can't do it, you might like OOTB to undertake the job.

As your country allows various things under your constitution it may well be some joker prenda to be the source sending you these messages.

The above is a very poor attempt at humour - I haven't had brekkie yet.
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- Rob, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:37pm
  
  Re: Using a speech recognition program to write emails
  I assumed he was writing it on the world's last functional Newton.
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  - Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:58pm
    
    Re: Re: Using a speech recognition program to write emails
    I don't think it qualifies as functional if that's the garbage it spews.
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Gracey (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:24pm

[You may think this is fun and games]

Well, it certainly appears to be. I'm enjoying the show a great deal.

[Gentlemen, I only requested you do the right thing.]

Which of course is what he says is the right thing and not necessarily what the laws say?

[And never use the word that I threaten you. I have been kind and upset, but I would never threaten anyone. ]

So, this email was just a friendly thank you?

[I want an answer by 10 CST that you will stop the damage you and your associates have done.]

And as I can see by this post, TechDirt has indeed answered.

[And I love court and depositions!]

But they do not love you back.

Waiting for the next batch of wonderfully ludicrous and non-English emails to hit the web.
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:26pm

I still can't get over how much this guy sounds like Paul Christoforo. I guess if you've seen one poorly-written power trip, you've seen 'em all.
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- Rikuo (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:35pm
  
  Re:
  Aww, good ol' Paul, now there was a truly bad CSR. Wonder what he's up to these days? Hopefully beta-testing bots for the Turing test.
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larissaj (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:28pm

Because the first thing you do when you mention to someone that you're going to sue is put in writing that you plan to abuse and misuse the legal system?

Brilliant.

Also. His is part Nigerian Scammer?
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:02pm
  
  Re:
  I think he's 1/3rd Nigerian Prince
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AB, 6 Mar 2013 @ 2:50pm

...And the saga continues.

Hollywood can't even come close to providing this kind of quality entertainment.
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- MahaliaShere (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:04pm
  
  Re:
  Indeed. I didn't even laugh this hard at the Prenda article.
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:10pm
  
  Re:
  They could, but he would probably try to sue them as well for 'tortoise inflatulence of busybody model' or something...
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Zos (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:22pm

if he shows up in the comments, someone with the ability please promote it so i can find it...
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Marge Bouvier, 6 Mar 2013 @ 3:52pm

Great story, topped only by comments
Can't remember when I've enjoyed comments so much! They were funnier than the story, which was pretty darn entertaining!
Bravo, TD commenters!
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Viln (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:01pm

I hope....
I hope I'm not the only one who read "dp you legally" and immediately thought of lewd sexual references. I spent 3 seconds wondering how one guy could accomplish that, and another 7 seconds wondering if that really is illegal in Louisiana.
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charliebrown (profile), 6 Mar 2013 @ 4:05pm

I notice he's taking you straight to court for not doing the right thing but he never once says what the right thing to do is!
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- Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 6:18pm
  
  Re:
  It's implied. You gotta read between the lines, man!
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Anonymous Coward, 6 Mar 2013 @ 7:56pm

I bet this would confuse him for years to come.

You are sofa king we todd did.
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John, 6 Mar 2013 @ 10:39pm

Gotta wonder if English is his second, or perhaps third, fourth or fifth language..

One of the early commentors raised the question. Could this be a case of hackers having got into their systems and simply trolling the internet?

Or, if a nutcase falls from a tree in the Global Wildlife Center and no-one is there to hear it, does it go insane?
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dennis deems (profile), 7 Mar 2013 @ 6:38am

Wow. Wow. What the.... wow.
I mean you can actually TASTE the crazy.
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Mike Schinkel, 8 Mar 2013 @ 9:27am

Oh but there is a reason!
Oh but Mike, there *is* a reason these emails are helping someone.

They are comic gold, that's what they are! :)
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Anonymous Local, 11 Oct 2016 @ 9:22am

Why am I not surprised to find something like this? I am a previous employee of GWC and I can honestly say that Ken Matherne is not a good person. He is only in the business for the money, he doesn't care about the animals (the head of operations does so they are spoiled by that lovely man), and he treats his employees horribly. He has been known to sexually harass all the girls working for him. I am trying to figure out how to report him so someone can stop him because all the girls are scared of being alone with him. But they can't say anything against him or they get fired. He is a tyrant.
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