7-Year-Old Student Suspended For Waving Around A 'Gun' Made From A Pastry
from the 'always-be-a-good-boy/don't-ever-play-with-buns' dept
So, it's come to this. Oh, wait. I've already used that opening, back when I thought the pinnacle of guns-n-schools overreaction had been approached, if not actually surmounted. Let's start again.
So, NOW it's come to this. A seven-year-old suspended from school for crudely fashioning his breakfast pastry into a gun-like shape and brandishing it in the most menacing fashion a gun-shaped pastry can be wielded.
A 7-year-old Anne Arundel County boy was suspended for two days for chewing a breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun and saying, “Bang, bang”— an offense the school described as a threat to other students, according to his family.Yes. A Pop Tart knockoff makes a handy makeshift weapon, perhaps explaining why pastries are no longer served in prisons. When I say "it's come to this," it really has, but it's been a long time coming and there's plenty of precedent.
The pastry “gun” was a rectangular strawberry-filled bar, akin to a Pop-Tart, that the second-grader had tried to nibble into the shape of a mountain Friday morning, but then found it looked more like a gun, said his father, William “B.J.” Welch.
- Feb. 5, 2013 - A ten-year-old Virginia student was suspended for bringing an orange-tipped toy gun on a bus.That's just a sampling. There are many more stories like these out there. There are many that are underreported or never reported, where parents just deal with the ridiculous outcome of zero-tolerance policies. For some reason, many schools still labor under the delusion that "zero tolerance" equals "tough, but fair." It's neither, and utilizing zero tolerance policies simply prunes the whole process back to a disfigured stump devoid of logic, perspective or context.
- Feb. 1, 2013 - A 9-year-old student was suspended for bringing a 2-inch toy gun on a key fob to school.
- Jan. 29, 2013 - A 5-year-old student could be suspended for crafting a Lego gun during an after-school program. Not only that, but he'd crafted his fingers into a gun mere weeks earlier.
- Jan. 22, 2013 - A 5-year-old is suspended for discussing her Hello Kitty bubble gun, saying, "I'll shoot you, you'll shoot me and we'll all play together."
- Jan. 2, 2013 - A 6-year-old in a Washington D.C. school was suspended for making a gun gesture with his hands.
- August 28, 2012 - A deaf 3-year-old preschooler is asked to change the sign he uses for his name -- Hunter -- which he signs by forming a gun with his hands. Apparently, "saying" his name violates the school's weapon policy.
- Feb. 24, 2012 - A drawing of a gun by a four-year-old resulted in the arrest of her father when he came to pick her up from school. He was detained by police and strip-searched while his children were questioned by social services. The gun his child depicted? A plastic toy that belonged to his kids.
So, a child eats something and starts playing with his food because it resembles something other than the RDA-approved Pop Tart knockoff. And his school responds by twisting its own weapons policy into a parody of itself. The actual wording pertaining to prohibited items, courtesy of Lowering the Bar, reads like this:
Any gun of any kind, loaded or unloaded, operable or inoperable, including any object other than a firearm which is a look-a-like of a gun. This shall include, but is not limited to, pellet gun, paintball gun, stun gun, taser, BB gun, flare gun, nail gun, and air soft gun.How does this policy apply to the pastry? That's a great question, and Lowering the Bar doesn't have an answer:
Josh's gun was not a firearm, because it was a pastry, and it seems highly unlikely that it qualified as a gun "look-a-like," again because it was a pastry. It certainly is nothing like any of the "look-a-like" items set forth in the list, largely because those items are not pastries.The school's logic apparently is that if it vaguely resembles a gun and someone is pretending it's a gun, then it's a gun look-a-like. Case closed.
This, in and of itself, would be pathetic enough. But it gets worse. The school sent home a letter regarding the (non) incident, which hilariously offers the assistance of staff counselors for anyone "troubled" by the weaponized pastry.
Dear Parents and Guardians:Kevin Underhill at LTB adds:
I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate.
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.
* * *
As you are aware, the ... Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, which was sent home during the first week of school and can be found on our website, www.aacps.org....
If your children express that they are troubled by today's incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.
Pretty sure that if your children are "troubled" by another kid biting a pastry into something that looks sort of like a gun and waving said pastry around, you have already failed as a parent.And I'd add that if you've done even a merely passable job as a parent, the only "feeling" your children might want to "share" is that their school is run by officious asshats, even if they haven't quite developed the vocabulary to say that in so many words. (Don't kid yourselves, parents: they're quite capable of swearing well above their grade level.)
This is the nadir of the education system's zero tolerance weapon policies. Zero tolerance does nothing more than relieve the administrative staff from the possibility of having blood on their hands. No situtation is too ridiculous to be taken seriously -- and punished harshly. Reducing every incident to binary ensures that no school employee can ever be held responsible for overreacting to any perceived "threat," no matter how innocuous. In many ways, the education system is a reflection of our current "homeland security" ecosystem where the endless pursuit of "safety" has become the impetus for thousands of terrible policies, all enforced inflexibly.
There's a way to pull out of this nosedive but it involves many, many people being willing to make judgement calls on the fly and able to face the heat should their judgement falter. Unfortunately for many in the system, the risk is much higher than the reward. For many in these positions, the possibility of being wrong is incapacitating and zero tolerance policies relieve this pressure. Trying to steer the system back towards a greater reliance on common sense won't be easy, but continuing to let it drift in its current direction will do nothing to improve the safety and security of our schools, much less our country.
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Filed Under: children, guns, overreaction, pastries, schools, zero tolerance
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Schools today are nothing short of prisons. I truly feel sorry for kids today.
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Pathetic...
Can't use your imagination, can't play make-believe...
Yeah, that'll help the next generation of creators, won't it?
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Now our kids must be lawyers. I fear for the future.
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Re: A technical solution to a social problem that works.
It is a win-win approach. Either the prospect of being replaced by a computer gets them to not be complete morons or we save lots of money while achieving the same quality!
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> school administrators who are moronic enough
> to pull this crap. Fire them and ban them from
> ever working in any school system ever again.
Unfortunately it's easier to squeeze a diamond out of your asshole than it is to fire any school teacher or administrator these days. The unions have made sure of that.
In L.A. last year, a teacher was caught feeding cookies frosted with his own semen to the kids in his class and they could't even fire him for that. Sure, he was arrested and indicted, but the school district still had to offer him a *bonus* to resign voluntarily because they couldn't fire him per union rules.
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It's a freaking Super Power!
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This case is particularly disturbing as I remember my Barney The Purple Dinosaur-hating chant/parity from my school days (add "happily" to the end of it). The thing is. It isn't as if the kids learning this really knew what they were doing, nor is it a sign that they will do this in the future.
As harmless as most of these behaviors seem, we have to remember to tell our children that guns in certain terms are only meant for shooting the bad guy. It doesn't matter what media the kid uses (toy, bubble gun...etc). The idea is there. While it seemingly poses no threat... depending on the tone of the child, and in which context the child said it in, action must be taken.
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It "seemingly" poses no threat? It's a BUBBLE GUN and the comment came from a FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL - and she was only TALKING about it.
The comment cannot be taken as a threat. There is no danger to the safety of the students at the school. It is therefore inappropriate to suspend the student.
In the case of the boy with the pastry, it would only be appropriate to suspend him if his actions were disrupting the class, the teacher told him to stop and he refused, AND he had a history of such behavior. Even if the first two were met, simply sending him to the office and issuing a detention would be plenty - and that would be for disruption, not for a weapons policy violation. He did not violate the weapons policy because he did not have a weapon or a weapon look-alike.
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um, except for one teensy weensy detail:
according to Big Bother, WE 99% ARE the 'bad guys'...
guess that means we should all shoot ourselves ? ? ?
(it would save Big Bother the trouble...)
art guerrilla
aka ann archy
eof
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Good choices
An excellent idea. Kids, please, talk with with the school counselor to remind them of the importance of making good choices. Like the choice to NOT suspend students for having a pastry with a weird shape. Because apparently, the school is in desperate need of the lesson.
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Gun shapes
OMG, watch what you do with that L-shaped item, don't you know how dangerous the letter L is?
We need to remove the letters F, J, L, and P from the alphabet, lest kids get the wrong idea.
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Re: Gun shapes
History class will now consist of taking roll call and then dismissing the class, since there's nothing left to cover.
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upon receiving your letter regarding today's incident at the school, I spoke with my child. When I asked if he was upset by this incident, he said burst out in tears. Clearly this mornings incident caused him unimaginable pain and anguish.
Eventually I was able to calm him and reassure him that he was safe and I would protect him. And eventually he explained to me that his pain and suffering were over the fact that your school is run by a bunch of maniacal deranged lunatics who go around violently admonishing students and causing mass panic.
The mere fact that your staff are fully grown adults and our children are tiny physically is enough for me to express outrage over how you treat them. The notion that you would bully them and punish them for their innocence is appalling.
That you left my child traumatized by your actions is unspeakable.
So yes please, schedule a session with your counselors ASAP. But instead of my child attending that session, I prefer you require your entire staff be in attendance and forced to look within their soulless hearts over this matter.
Sincerely WTF
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Re: [Twixt the lines]
[Translation: Hail Mary, full of grace... Hail Mary, full of grace...]
I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate.
[Translation: Due to the increasingly public nature of this big-time oopsie on our part, I'm compelled by my hopes for continued employment to attempt to perform some major post-facto damage control, which I know that nobody will buy, but I'm going to do it anyway, because I really don't want you to find out about this fuck-up from the evening news, or from a lawyer. Therefore: I hereby encourage you (Please! From the bottom of my little heart!) to try to find some way to explain what went down in school today in a way that won't cause your pre-teen child to naturally assume that we're total morons.]
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class.
[Translation: One of our employees went a little funny in the head this morning, and went off on a child who was, as children are wont to do, playing with his food in a rude manner during breakfast. By the time a more stable individual could take control of the situation, things had gone too far, and hit the fan.]
While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.
[Translation: By the time a sane person arrived on the scene to take charge, our bridges had been burned all the way to the waterline, and something had to be done in order to save face, so we pretended that the little punk was actually guilty of some sort of major infraction of The Code, which is intolerable because The Code says so. Consequentially, we made a show of force by dragging the perp out of the classroom as if he were some two-bit hood.]
* * *
As you are aware, the ... Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, which was sent home during the first week of school and can be found on our website, www.aacps.org....
[Translation: The Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, and do not in any way, either implicitly or explicitly, prohibit playing with one's food. So we're jumping up and down over here and waving our hands and fainting all over the place, in the hopes that nobody who reads this load of crap actually tries to find any scripture prohibiting playing with one's food in that Most Holy of Codes. Because there isn't any such. Please don't notice or tell anyone.]
If your children express that they are troubled by today's incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.
[Translation: If your children are sharp enough to realize that our damage control strategy is a total load of horse-hockey, and express utter contempt for such transparent attempts at manipulation, please (please, with big, sad puppy eyes) try to explain away our incompetence and restore their faith in lowest-common-denominator because-I-say-so adult fascism. If your children think that you, too, are full of it, you are a failure as a parent, and must surrender your children to our indoctrination center (which will be open for business beginning week) for attitude adjustment. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids.]
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Insanity later.
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Let's hope so; ... because their parents are sure wusses.
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School rules
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I despair for humanity, I really do.
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The Failure of Modern Society...
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Even in this scenario, the California good Samaritan law protecting such acts isn't enough to stop people from basing decisions on fear of litigation. Even when someone could die as a result.
That's how screwed this world has become.
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Actually, scratch that thought. I shouldn't give them ideas.
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A 6 year old student was suspended Tuesday for carrying a copy of the school's weapons policy. The student in question was apparently supposed to give the policy to his parents, but left it in his bag. where it was found by the teacher on the second day of school.
"We sent this home with the students on the first day of school, but it was a clear violation of the policy to bring it back", said the school's principal. "The policy states that anything that may function as a weapon may not be brought to school. Not only does the document mention 'weapons', which could cause other students who only glimpse that word to think it is a threat, but the policy itself may be considered a weapon. Indeed, it has been used many times to beat our students into submission."
"The lack of any true danger, and the fact that we gave it to him in the first place, is no excuse", he said. "We couldn't call it zero tolerance if we showed tolerance."
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9/11 when the terrorists won. They don't have to do anything anymore, we'll destroy ourselves and be happy for it.
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as 'our' (sic) country devolves further and further into orwellian despair, it is difficult not to consider -realistically- whether nine one one was emperor bush the second's reichstag fire...
looking at it from *that* perspective, it makes a certain perverted 'sense'...
art guerrilla
aka ann archy
eof
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surplus to requirements
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I'm glad my kids are finally out of K-12. I'd have to homeschool them to prevent these nutjobs from dumbing them down.
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Its every man for themselves now�
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The cause for this clearly falls back onto both sides of the spectrum. The current overreach in all facets of life were started and are being upheld by both ends.
Corruption and Stupidity have no boundaries(or limits unfortunately). Please keep trollish crap like this to yourself. I does nothing to further the intelligent discussion. And yes the parody statements above are still intelligent as they clearly took rational thought to create.
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Some people need a perpective adjustment
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Video Evidence that Pastry is Dangerous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0aT03K0Pm0
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For kids to learn from their mistakes, they need to know what that mistake is and even as an adult, I still can't fathom the mistake so how the heck could they?
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Dear Senator Paul
The question you have posed is therefore entirely hypothetical, unlikely to occur, and one we hope no President will ever have to confront. It is possible, I suppose, to imagine an extraordinary circumstance in which it would be necessary and appropriate under the Constitution and applicable laws of the United States for the President to authorize the military to eat their pastries into the shape of drones. For example, the President could conceivably have no choice but to authorize the military to eat their pastries in this manner if necessary to protect
the homeland in the circumstances of a catastrophic attack like the ones suffered on December 7, 1941, and September 11, 2001.
Were such an emergency to arise, I would examine the particular facts and circumstances before advising the President on the scope of his available pastry-eating options.
Sincerely,
Eric H. Holder, Jr.
Attorney General
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Recently, we changed our policy regarding banned items on airplanes, to now permit certain knives, baseball bats, and hockey sticks as carry-on items. Our intent was to help speed up the check-in security process at our nation's airports.
In light of recent backlash on this change in policy, we have decided to further amend our policies to no longer permit pastries on airplanes. The potential threat they pose is far too great to permit.
While knives, bats, and hockey sticks may be wielded in a way that feels threatening, we believe anyone carrying a knife, bat or hockey stick is clearly doing so with no intent of ill-will. As such, we are moving forward with allowing these items onto planes.
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I don't wanna live on this planet anymore
I hope those wicked administrations will pay someday, big time!
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It's a major brain infection!
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What if the entire school...
In 13 years, that'd get him promoted to PFC.
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Call the newspaper!
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Torn paper is dangerous too!
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/grader-hassled-bringing-paper-gun-class-article-1.12456 47
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Re: Torn paper is dangerous too!
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I fear they will grow to become just like the idiot adults that supervised them.
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zero tolerance
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In my book, "It's policy" is just a fancy way of saying "But it was his idea" and should evoke the standard response: "If policy told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"
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From 3rd grade and on it was the easy going laid back environment that encouraged actual study and left to the parents things like sex ed or test preparation skills. The doors were not locked during school hours and neither were most of the classrooms when they weren't in use and we all carried pocket knives.
Thats right. Sharp little boy scout knives or the like. They were quite the tool of a developing technological society with many legitimate uses making our lives easier and better. We actually used them when we needed to cut a paper or whittle a pencil (remember the pencil?) or often for the art class project using Popsicle stick, toothpicks or whatever medium the school or your parents could afford and that was really all we used them for.
The police NEVER came to the school and even fights were handled internally. When there was a fight the little tools NEVER came out of the pockets even of the losing side. No one even considered it as a weapon at all. NEVER were there trips to the hospital except for such like sports injury. It was explains to us that if we ever did such we would get into 'real trouble' of which none of us wanted ever. (the real police really would be called) Such maturity of my experience makes me wonder the inner fortitude of the latest generation(s?).
It seems to me that a zero tolerance policy equates to a zero brain usage policy. Whats next? Just making the peace sign would be mimicking a pair of scissors thus getting thrown out for representing the shape of a sharp object. Going �bang, bang� with your hand is a no problem kind of thing. A non event. Go ahead and play cops and robbers. What about a great light-saber battle with some rolled up paper or tubes... Who cares???!!!
I like the mention of teaching in history class above. (anonymous^2, rekrul) That war is a very,very BAD thing is only learned by reading unedited text, pictures and other media. Its best taught by a grade school teacher who fought in WW2 and can tell of the bloody pointless battles wasting immense resources for insignificant piles of rock deemed of strategic value. Not being able to mention the word �gun� in class or make a classic shooting gesture removes a part of language. It is a censoring of the most blatant kind.
I think the last generation(s?) have lost the not to complicated moral insurance question: �If we are chained to the bed wont it be safer for us?� Such an overreaction and lack of trust for the next generation is so Orwellian... (and so damaging) (Lost the 911 war didn't we? WE are the terrorist now... to ourselves.)
It is more likely that school safety as a whole is reduced by such incompetent behavior on the part of the adults. I mean really. Overreacting like that is just the same as throwing a mega tantrum in a baby like manner. What kind of example is that?
Been kinda watching this stuff but every time it beaks my heart to see some young child caught up in stupid adult games. I hope every incident results in a multi million lawsuit and the school officials involved lose jobs.
Heres my zero tolerance policy: Bus driver, teacher, officials and admin... pafft. One strike. Youuuuur out!
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It would be funny if this were satire
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The 'good' news is we already know what to expect in the near future......
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Added awfulness
'Welch asked the school principal Monday to strike references to guns from his son�s records. The principal looked into the idea but said it could not be done, he said.'
Unbelievable.
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Bang, you're NOT dead.
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If I received a letter making such a statement, the LAST thing I would imagine is that a student chewed a pastry to resemble a gun and pretended to use it as such.
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Kids will love it!
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SHOTGUN CASES
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Children's stress
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threat with children
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